ETIQUETTE QUESTION - PLEASE HELP!

Okay everyone... I'm forewarning you that this blog might be a bit of a downer but its all relevant to the question I need answered at the bottom of the post I SWEAR...

Like every girl I dreamed of the "dream wedding."  I've also worked in special event planning for approximately 4 years at this point and have therefore stockpiled idea after idea for my own wedding.  All that was missing was the "one."

When I met my husband in 2006 we knew within a very short time that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together (Gaaaagggggg).  But seriously, I told my dad the very next day that I had met the guy he was going to give me away to.  To which my dad probably replied something like, "Good God here we go.  You need to chill out."  But I meant it.

At this time Dennis' dad was battling non-hodgkins lymphoma.  Within a few months his cancer was back with a vengeance and we were spending a good amount of time commuting between work and the Cancer Institute in Detroit.  We did have some fun along the way but our "courtship" had a very dark cloud looming over it.

Then the day came where they called everyone in to let us know that there was nothing more they could do for his dad but make him comfortable in his last weeks.  I couldn't believe that this man's health had deteriorated right before us in such a short amount of time.   And I couldn't come close to imagining how my then boyfriend could bear the finality of the situation.  Furthermore, as rough as it was going to be I knew I had to somehow put aside my own sadness for both his dad and for him and his entire family, and be as supportive as I could possibly be.

One night Dennis said to me that although we hadn't been together long, he knew that we were going to be together.  And that if I was ok with putting a rush on things he would like for us to get married before his dad passed away.  (Of course I said yes.  Even though it meant giving up the dream wedding - the possibility for him to have a memory of his dad at our wedding meant far more).

Even as a writer, I cannot begin to put into words the amount of emotional turmoil that ensued over the next couple of weeks.  We went back and forth on whether or not it was "appropriate," if we wanted to give up the "dream wedding," if we wanted our wedding day overcome with the sadness that was in everyone's hearts at that time.  We had no idea what we were in store for.

Dennis spent the next two weeks at his dads bedside while I frantically and single-handedly tried to pull together as nice of a wedding as possible for us.  Hours were spent calling family, as it was too late for invitations.  Luckily I was working as an event coordinator at a beautiful venue and even though it was peak wedding season, we were able to squeeze in a morning ceremony and brunch reception on Sunday, August 12th.

I would work during the day, checking up on Dennis, and getting status reports about his dad then run to Michaels, work on favors (frivolous but I wanted it to feel as "normal" as possible), run to Costco and buy fresh flowers, run to the mall to pick out a sundress for my maid-of-honor, run to Kohls to pick up outfits for the flower girl and ring bearer, etc.  

At this time Dennis was working 3rd shift so I'd go take him "lunch" at midnight and sit with him on the tailgate of his truck and talk about his dad and our future together.  It was an insanely exhausting couple of weeks.

So the wedding day came.  There was no bridal shower.  There were no bachelor/bachelorette parties.  There was no bridal party.  There was no first dance.  There was no honeymoon..... And there was no Dennis' dad. 

He passed away two days before our wedding.  Two days before he passed I went to visit him.  He was sleeping a lot and had not shown any signs of communication that week.  I sat down next to him and told him I was there.  I told him that he had an amazing son and that we were getting married and that I would take good care of him and make him happy.  He opened his eyes and I put my hand in his to show him the ring.  He smiled for the first time in days... and for possibly the last time. 

Because of this, his dad's family insisted we go on with the wedding.  As torn as we were Dennis said that since much of his dad's family were in town for the funeral that it would be the closest he'd get to having his dad there.  So we did it.  Heavy hearts and all.

Sometimes we talk about it and say we wish we had waited.  Instead of waking up the day after our wedding and jumping the next flight to a romantic tropical location, we got ready and went to his dad's funeral.  But ultimately, do we regret it?  Absolutely not.  We've made it through some of the toughest couple of years imaginable.  We've dealt with more in the last two years than most marriages have to endure in the first 25.  And we are as in love with each other as we were in the beginning.

And that, we feel, is cause for celebration. 

So my question is this:  Is it inappropriate for us to have a blowout party for a 5th anniversary?  I know its usually the 25th or 50th that people go all out for but we'd really like to renew our vows (in that romantic tropical place - money pending) and come home and have a huge party.  It'd give us a chance to enjoy the party planning process and actually celebrate our union during a much lighter, happier time. 

We certainly wouldn't want people to bring gifts and would do something less formal than a wedding reception.  There'd be no toasts, or wedding cake or wedding dress.  I really feel like everyone who knows us and knows the circumstances that surrounded our wedding would understand why we're pimping out our 5th anniversary but on the other hand I don't know if its inappropriate.  Advice?  Pretty please???

INFORMER...sajfl;jaslkfj;lasjfd;lasjd... A LICKY BOOM BOOM DOWWNNNN...

Pssssst.... Insatiable.... are you there?  You've got a PRIZE TO CLAIM!!!!!!!!!!!!

After MUCH deliberation (and trust me this was TOUGH) it came to be that Insatiable's playlist pretty much warmed my insides and touched me in all the right places (like MUSICALLY you gutterbrains).

And as a bonus I've gone techy and added a playlist over herrrrrr--------------------------->
so you guys can sample.

Congrats love!  And thanks for tickling my ear drums with your flippin sweet tunes.

Thanks to everyone who participated!  I thought I was pretty musically diverse but you ladies have got some eclectic taste which made me happy. 

I hope you're all having a fantastic Sunday.  I've got some ideas brewing for the next contest so hang tight little chitlins... and don't be sore losers.  I love all twelve of you equally.

ALMOST THERE...

Well, I hope everyone had a great week.  I spent mine working (boooo), having weird dreams about having to raise people's kids, dining with friends on St Patty's day, trying the whole cooking thing (again) and listening to the cool tunes everyone sent in for the contest. 

(Hangs my head in shame)....  The winner was supposed to be announced yesterday....

And I didn't get home until after 10pm and just felt I couldn't divulge the winner in proper fashion (it was WAY too late to get out the scissors and construction paper and make confetti).  So I slacked and went to sleep.

Now this morning - YOU WAIT AGAIN - because this is just a teaser blog to say "Hi everyone, sorry I haven't announced the winner yet but my iPhone took a crap last night, I had emotional withdrawal and nearly physical too so I'm off to the AT&T store to get it taken care of." 

But I'll be back!  So lets go ahead and pound it - ya know,  like when two people make a fist and join them together in a display of "we're awesome-ness?  Pound it for blog awesomeness, for the hope of a new iPhone and for the sake of today's contest winner who's tracklist made me want to get up and dance.

In due time little children.... in due time...  In the meantime - listen to a "feel good" song and do something that makes you happy.  What's your "feel good" song?

THE RETURN OF THE JEDI...

Sorry I've been absent but after I virtually partied my face off on Sara's birthday, my creative juices have gone on vacation.  A quick reminder before we continue:  THE CONTEST ENDS AT 12am THIS MONDAY ...  So if you haven't entered... get in gear and participate!

So not only have I been a blog slacker (blacker?  slogger? hmmm...) but I've pretty much been a LIFE slacker.  I actually committed the cardinal sin of exercising and hung clothes on my treadmill last week.  I considered selling the elliptical on Craigslist, I had McDonalds for the first time since January 1st and I have generally sucked at being healthy all around.  Not my proudest moment. 

After reading another blogger's post this morning it got me thinking about how good I feel when I've got my head on even partially straight and make good choices, whether it's food selection, working out, prioritizing, budgeting, cooking, etc.  Sometimes I just want to take a week off, lay on the couch in my pink snuggie (yes its true) and fall off the wagon.  Well, I didn't get to chillax on the couch in my snuggie but I definitely fell off said wagon in many other instances. 

*Sigh* So I'm making a conscious decision to knock it off.  To stop feeling sorry for myself, and to start doing the things again that make me feel good and successful in my two most important roles: wife and personal advocate to this sweet chick named Miranda (that's ME for those of you who only know me as that Ink on My Sleeve blog lady...)  Today I buzzed around my house cleaning, doing laundry, sorting through the dreaded stack of mail, planning my meals for the week and going grocery shopping.  I felt like an actual functioning human being for the first time since I slipped into this haze I've been in. 

Which means this week I've got no reason not to eat healthy, stress about money (because lets face it - it is what it is), wear socks I don't like because they're the only ones clean or feel like my house is a mess.  I should be feeling pretty great right?  Well.... I don't.  I'm in a funk but I'm determined to pull myself out of it.  I'm also going to make some hard decisions this week - like maybe schedule a much needed doctor appointment, finally schedule my root canal, research psychiatrists (because as much as I love my blog outlet, I need another one where I can talk through some of the things that are bringing me down), put in for time off for a Tennessee trip and inquire about a possible job opportunity. 

I guess there's a lot looming in the week ahead so that's probably why I'm not feeling all that kick arse.  Sooo... whats a girl to do when she's lacking motivation (besides consuming hard liquor or dropping $100 at Target)?  MAKE A LIST OF COURSE! 

REASONS WHY I NEED TO STOP BEING  A LIFE SLACKER:
- My husband's a pretty awesome guy so I should probably step back up to the plate on the whole "wife" bit
- I'm not getting in shape by sippin' on a Shamrock shake
- Those upcoming vacations will be much more fun if I'd get myself in gear
- Due to crazy circumstances (a WHOLE other post) my wedding day wasn't exactly everything I dreamed of (aside from the dude at the end of the aisle who whispered to me that he had to poop.  THAT my friends, is what dreams are made of).  Anyway the husband and I are both standing in his brothers wedding in September and get to walk down the aisle together - I want to look smokin when he sees me.
- Ummm... life is short so why the hell slack my way through it?  DUH YOU IDIOT SELF!
- There have been too many 'negatives' in my life that I've had no control over.  Its time to start taking control of the aspects I CAN control.

So there's some good solid motivation.  I've got a lot of work to do so I better rest up.  Night loves!  (P.S.  I've been listening to some of your submissions to the CONTEST and you guys are making this hard on me.  If you haven't entered yet DO IT!)

BIG PIMPIN... Its Sara's BIRTHDAY PARTY!

(Yes I'm posting this a few hours early because I'll be sleeping at midnight, I'll be at work tomorrow, and well, why not just start the Birthday Lovin now?)

I'm super very excited for today's post. For those of you who haven't checked out Smartass Sara... well its her BIRTHDAY and you SHOULD. Show her some love today!!! And she's just so damn cool that she's one of the few blogger pals who I know would appreciate the merchandise listed below. And well, if I wasn't such a sucky blog friend I would've found it and sent it to her in real life. And she's vowing to beat everyone in my CONTEST and I admire her determination.  Anyways, I heart her and wish I could party with her tonight.

Without further adieu...

I present to you...

One of the Baddest Mothas

in the blogger hood...

Smart Ass + Sara = Split Personality and/or Bi-Polar. You Be The Judge

For those who don't me I'll give you a quickie intro. I'm 28. I'm a mom of two kids. I'm unhappily married. I work full time. I have my own Etsy shop. I'm a full time blogger. I'm a friend, daughter, etc. I'm angsty. I'm easily confused. I'm a potty mouth. I'm determined and independent. I'm a picky eater and I have big boobs. I have a bubble butt and I read a lot. I like music. I don't like farm animals.

So I think that kind of gives you some insight into me. Of course a stroll through my blog, Sara's Organized Chaos will give you more insight into me and my crazy.

But I struggle. I struggle every day with who I am and who I actually want to be. It's strange that all my life I wanted to grow up, get married, have babies, and be Martha Stewart but prettier with bigger boobs. And I did all that. Except I'm not happy. I feel like I missed out on something.

In any one day I feel like I am two or three completely different people. Sometimes four. There is:

MOMMY SARA: The dedicated mom to two super adorable and awesome, well behaved kids. I have no idea how I got so lucky with them but I am forever grateful that I have been given the best kids ever. (They are only 4 and 2 so check with me in 10 years) I do crafty things with them, I plan out our activities, I'm trying to make everything a teaching moment, I'm always tired. I'm giving piggy back rides, I'm hiding with them, chasing them, singing along with the Wiggles.

WIFE AND HOMEMAKER SARA: I plan our meals, I clean our house, I make us look good to the outside world. People who encounter us would see as a put together, organized family of four. Really it's a gigantic nightmare of a mess but I hold it together. I remember every holiday, birthday, anniversary, party, appointment, etc and get everybody where they need to go. Any CEO of any large company has nothing on me. I can put Martha to shame. Which is hard because she's a heartless bitch that you just KNOW has whips under her bed. With pretty little ribbons on the handles.

FULL TIME WORKER SARA: Ah- yes. I work in a non-profit. I'm sweet and friendly. My co-workers probably have a small inkling of what I'm like in real life or think they know but they don't. They actually know a very small part of me. I'm a good worker, uber organized, helpful, kind and caring to the clients, willing to take anything on.

SPARE TIME SARA: This is the Sara I actually like the most, oddly enough. This Sara is crazy. She's loud, she's obnoxious, she has no filter, says anything that comes into her head. Funny, klutzy, airhead, sporadic, busy, scattered, talks a mile a minute, lover of music, likes to dance, acts as if she is 21 forever but doesn't drink because she doesn't need to.

So you roll up all of these versions of me and it's confusing. I don't know where I really fit and can't find a balance. How I can keep it all straight, I don't know. Sometimes I feel like never turning onto my street. Like I should just keep driving, leave it all behind start anew. Except that would likely last for about 20 miles because I get lost without my GPS and it's currently sitting on my kitchen counter because for some reason I brought it in thinking I'd need it while cooking dinner or something.

Plus I'd be broke. I never have more than $3 on me because I'm a bit of a shop-o-holic. Like today on lunch I had $20. I bought: a pepsi, a water, a bag of jelly beans, a Lil Wayne cd, and a thing of Reese's Peanut Butter Cup eggs. Guess what? I now have .17. So I'm going NOWHERE. That means today I will be going home.

And god forbid I'd get a flat tire. I'd be screwed. I have a penchant for flat tires and broken windows. At least on this vehicle. I mean, in theory- the steps on changing a flat tire seem pretty straight forward, but it requires thought and muscle which are two things that don't work together for me. So you get one or the other, but if you are hoping for muscle it's limited.

I also have very limited real world experience. So I'd be the idiot asking a group of gang bangers where I could find a clean bathroom with toilet paper. Can we say "Target for Robbery", anyone? Except they'd probably be so pissed off with my measly .17 that maybe they'd just feel bad for me. And then like pimp me out or something. Who knows. But I do know that I am a magnet for freaks, perverts, and crazies so let's be real. I would last literally, a matter of a few hours before something traumatic happened.

So in the end, I have no idea who I am. I don't even think I'm capable of every really figuring it out. It depends where I am and what I'm doing. I do know that I try to be good at everything I do. Sure, there are some things I'd probably change if I could but who knows. Maybe I'd be worse off. At least I didn't end up on 16 and Pregnant, right? At least I'm not on Maury confused over the 37 possible baby daddy's in the span of a week. If I could do it all over again, I would have slutted it up a bit. I would have gotten piss drunk at least once in my 20's. (Not to say I never have..I'm talking in my early 20's.) I would have gotten a tattoo on my ass or something. I would have done majorly stupid things I'd regret later on.

I STINK... (AND A STINKIN AWESOME CONTEST!)

I stink... in a lot of ways....

I stink at remembering things (like the chiropractor appointment I had today), I stink at cooking (because I'm LAZY not because I can't read a recipe and follow directions), I stink at exercising (again the LAZY factor comes in AND I'm human). But I stink right now mostly because I hit up happy hour with a couple of co-workers and therefore smell like a bar (ala Captain and Coke and cigarette smoke).

I also stink at giving the proper love to those who've so graciously checked out my blog of late - I will I swear because I appreciate the shiz out of you guys, seriously. I'm a horrible blogger.... for real. I also stink at being a loser because, I'm not gonna lie, I pouted (we're talking stuck out bottom lip, and sadness in my veins) when I didn't win Sarah's contest. But I picked myself up by the ol' boot straps and forced myself out of bed this morning. (Don't feel bad Sarah, I still love you long time and I think now is where I insert the teaser for those who love good, organized chaos, and say that we've got an exciting happening on the Ink blog this week....)

*Sigh* I'm really having a hard time transitioning here....

Soooo... I thought I'd update you all on some vacations I want to take in the coming months (because you care, right?) and introduce MY VERY FIRST CONTEST!!!

1. April - I'm thinking a visit to my family in Tennessee is long overdue. There's a lot of peeps there that the husband hasn't met yet who I KNOW he will love and who will LOVE him in return. AND there's nothing like the calm you feel when you cross into Kentucky. I heart the South.

2. May - I dream of warm weekends in Chicago so I'm trying to recruit my bro and sis-in-law to accompany us on a long weekend in the city. Ok, lets not kid ourselves, its the buckets of liquor at Howl at the Moon that make me long for the Windy City.

3. May, June, July and August - I ACHE to camp. While I enjoy getting all dolled up and going to a nice dinner in the city, I also cannot deny my affinity for beer, bonfires and tent sleeping.

4. October - Being that I do not need to break a sweat and come home looking like a lobster to consider a trip a "vacation," we are considering a cruise up the east coast in October with a couple friends. The one we've decided on is a New England/Canada cruise leaving from NYC and stopping at Boston, Portland, Halifax and St.John. Because whats better than fall colors, late nights with friends and sea sickness? I'll tell ya... NOTHING!

And from this comes a STINKIN CONTEST!!! Tell your friends!!! No seriously... I said TELL your friends... NOW.

I'm someone who associates music with EVERY instance in her life. So I need a SOUNDTRACK to my adventures people!! (I know, I know... can you believe how fun this is?!) I'm looking for a playlist of three songs for each adventure - there's four of them, count them, four of them. So four times 3 is 12. To be clear:

1.) April (Tennessee) = 3 songs
2.) May (Chicago) = 3 songs
3.) May, June, July, August (Camping) = 3 songs
4.) October (Cruise up the east coast) = 3 songs

If you insist on sending more I won't be sad. And what do you WIN?! You win a STINKIN awesome gift basket representing each of the 4 vacations I'm taking (valued at $50)!

I double-dog dare you to take on the challenge! And speaking of dares... and contests... and winning sweet stuff... enter Insatiable's contest too!

To give you time to get the creative juices flowing I won't close out the contest until Monday of next week. I'll listen to the songs throughout the week and name a winner on Friday. So peace out girl scouts. Get to contesting!

THIS IS HOW WE DO IT...

Its Thursday night, and I feel alright... the party's here on the West side... 10 points for the first person to name that artist (if thats what you call it).

Anyways, tonights post is serving one purpose and one purpose only... to gracefully accept a fantabulous award (take THAT portmanteaus!). And this award was so graciously given by the equally fantabulous Insatiable who I've already went to second base with. (Ok seriously, I've linked the crap out of her... go check her out.... what are you waiting for? I'll wait...)

Anyshizzle...

As a rule, I have to offer up some more of the unknown to you lovelies so buckle up... or please just try and stay awake at the very least...

1) Sometimes I give people the finger after they walk out of my office. Complete with biting my bottom lip for emphasis and EVERYTHING... Sounds crazy I know - but it makes a girl feel soooooo much better.

2) (This ones for Insatiable) I too heart Ramen noodles. Except there's a ginormous difference. Here are the steps I take to eat my Ramen noodles. You go ahead and gag but try it just once and you, my friend, will be hooked.
-Take the package of Ramen and set it on the counter
-Grab any random canned good out of the pantry
-Pound the shiz out of the package of Ramen so its broken up into bite-size dry noodley pieces
-Open the package and pour it in a bowl
-Take the season stuff and sprinkle it on top
-Voila! You have crunchy, chickeny flavored noodley things and its SUPERB

3) I think I might seriously have a Facebook addiction.

4) My new niece is so precious I think I might kidnap her and move to Mexico.

5) I like when I'm driving and see a guy stare at me and I get the pleasure of thinking "Oh you don't even KNOW what hot mess exists beneath the shoulder shot you're getting."

6) I SWAN DIVE when people come to my door. Seriously, I can just about make myself invisible when the Jehovah's witness people come a-knockin.

7) After watching American Idol last night, I racked my brain on my way to work this morning trying to think of what my "perfect song choice" would be. There isn't one.

Ok... there you have it. I have to tag something like 7 people and well, since I'm new to the blog world and only have 9 followers so far, how could I seriously leave TWO of you out? So I tag all of you followers because I think you're ALL amazing. So here are the rules. And if you want to be a rule-breaker well, I guess its your call. But you ARE destined for 19 years of bad luck, you will form a unibrow, your va-jay-jay will shrivel up and you will randomly shout the phrase "Miranda is the shiz!" whenever someone says the word "banana" for the rest of your life. Choose wisely...

1. Thank the person that awarded you. Link to them in your post.

2. Pass this award on to 15 bloggers (or however many you can without feeling guilty)

3. Contact said blogs and let them know they've won (unless you take the lazy way out and tag ALL of them and its right before bedtime and there's no way you're dealing with that)

4. State 7 things about yourself

Night all!

WELCOME TO THE STREET CORNER

I've spent some time doing some HARD CORE blog reading the last few days. What can I say, when my world gets crazy I like to dive into yours... is that creepy? Get over it because I don't stay there. I move on to vodka and sprite rather quickly and well, I forget the night before. You could say you guys are my stress-induced one-night-blog-stands.... But I'll make you breakfast one of these days I swear.

I've come across some fantastic blogs lately and have also joined a couple of groups like a real actual blogger. See them right ovah heah--------------------------------------------------------------------->
Oh and there's a couple I'm too idiotic and lazy to grab a badge for but I'll promote sooner than later.

Go ahead, tap into your inner-middle-aged-sexiness and watch this to get in the mood for the next part of the post...




So here we go ladies and gents... now presenting (sang to the tune of Sex Bomb) "Link Love, Link Love... Givin Link Love" I'm gonna go ahead and slap on the gold chains and alligator print shoes and pimp the shiz out of some of you.

First we have...

Chunky Monkey - This fellow Michigander cracks me up with her hilarious observations and her affinity for all things handmade with Etsy Saturdays. Love love love...

The Insatiable Host - Because... well... just go read it. Her themed posts are nothing short of A-M-A-Z-I-N-G with such topics as WTF Wednesdays how can you not love her?

And last but certainly not least, my newest favorite (new as in I found her within the last 15 minutes and in an act of haste might have come onto her a bit too strong but I took the "No guts, no glory" approach"). I present to you.............. drumroll...............

Sara's Organized Chaos - Cute name right? Nice, cute picture right? Ummm... read further because I thought I had a sailor's mouth and this lovely made MY jaw hit the floor. Like she might even make my husband blush. Profanity+Pearls just might = my new fav. I beg of you, nay, IMPLORE you, to check her out.

So check them out. This Big Pimpin business is pretty exhausting. Going to drink some pimp juice and hit the hiz-ay for shiz-ayyyy! Later!