SPARE CHANGE

I grew up in a too-small town where the only traffic jams were caused by farm machinery or funerals. The only cities I've frequented are Detroit, MI and Chicago, IL. When visiting these cities I am my classic self - torn between a small-town girl with eyes wide open, full of wonder, anxiety and timidity. Torn between her and the woman I am grooming myself to be - sophisticated, professional, knowing which fork to use.

Nothing can force me back into that small-town shell quicker than encountering a homeless person. I am not scared. I am anxious. I feel the same way about homeless people as I do about changes in my life. I feel anxious, I don't want to come into contact, be engaged with it or embrace it. Yet I recognize that it is inevitable - my interaction with them and with change. I avoid it as much as I can but at the same time I am human enough to know that I have to acknowledge it as real. Who am I kidding? I am more uncomfortable with change than anything or anyone.

I recently changed jobs. I had held on to a wonderful job in a miserable environment to the point of sacrificing my health, my relationships with friends and family and most importantly, my time for myself. I worked at a resort and planned weddings for the last four years. I am only 24, so this was the longest I had ever been at a job thus far. I loved my job. As with most jobs, it was the management that led to my eventual resignation. From the first time I fluffed the bride's dress I knew it was my calling. I loved the relationships I developed with the clients. I loved being able to exercise my creativity to its fullest potential to put on the most memorable events. I even loved the challenges that came in the form of mothers-of-the-bride, "bridezillas" and arrogant businessmen planning conferences.

But it happened- I finally jumped ship. I mean jumped. I was offered an administrative position at a real estate office and took the opportunity. I jumped without even opening my eyes. My knowledge of the real estate business went as far as knowing that there's a bunch of people, they sell houses, lots of papers are signed and then they give people keys to their house. When I find myself googling real estate terms just to stay afloat and not sound completely incompetent, I have often wondered "What the hell am I doing here? I just left a job that I knew inside, outside and sideways for a place where I know nothing."

My boss is not only a real estate broker ( n: term which describes a party who acts as an intermediary between sellers and buyers of real estate and attempts to find sellers who wish to sell and buyers who wish to buy), but she is also a national speaker. She holds sessions across the country coaching other brokers on how to grow their business. Last week she called me into her office and offered me the position of being her event coordinator - effective immediately. Just when I was starting to question whether or not I really should look before I leap - I am offered an amazing opportunity to plan events across the country. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways. From the day I interviewed at this company I was made aware that there were big plans in place and that the business would begin growing. I didn't quite expect to be taken along on the journey so quickly and I am ecstatic.

So its made me decide that change really isn't a bad thing. Nothing to fear. I know it's offbeat to compare a change in career to a homeless person but they both just want you to open your heart and your mind and accept that they are real. And when you accept this - you will be greatly rewarded.

~For last year's words belong to last year's language. And next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot