Monday, November 22, 2010

OH BABY

Sometimes when it truly sinks in that we still don't have children I have a loneliness settle over me that is unbearable and suffocating. It makes me feel homesick for the life I thought I'd have at this point - homesick while sitting in my living room. I don't think anyone in my every day life could ever understand. So there it is world.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

A SPECIAL KIND OF CRAZY

This post was inspired by my dear love Mrs.Fatass.   (Sorry Sue I seem to draw inspiration from you a lot and well, I apologize.  This actually started out as a comment in response to her post today which you should check out here since its the prelude to what I'm about to say. 

And we continue...

If you did what you were told like good readers you know that the word of the day today is ANXIETY.  Doesn't that word just sound anxious?  Hey English majors - is there a word for a word that feels like it sounds?  Just wondering...

Focus.  Little one.  Focus.

SO....

DEAR SUE,

I want to say I suffer from EXACTLY what you described but I adore you too much to take that away from  you and acknowledge that while they appear to be, no two people or experiences are the same. But sister?  I will say this: 

I feel ya. 


I feel compelled to share a tidbit with you.  The hubby and I went to a bagel shop this weekend.  Sitting there with my husband, my bagel and my smoothie I had this feeling hit me like a ton of bricks.  A feeling like I didn't belong there and like I don't belong where I am in my life as a whole.  It was one of the heaviest and craziest feelings I've ever experienced.  So much so that I had to get up and leave...  I sat there looking at the families with children, the elderly couple that had just come in after church, the women behind the counter.  And felt like I was looking at them through a window.  And I still can't shake it.

And my husband?  Being that he doesn't experience anxiety, he gave me the look that said  "I did not sign up for this," which makes it 100% worse.  I've been told to "get out of my head" more than once by people who more than don't get it.

I haven't quite figured out the secret to escaping something that's attached to my very body.  But if you feel this way too can we make a pact?  That the first one to figure it out please share?  I think one of the hardest things is feeling like there's got to be a higher quality of life outside of this place in our minds. 

But is there?  And its not exactly something we wear on our sleeves.  So sometimes I have to make myself feel better by assuming everyone's mind is wired like mine and that we're all fighting the same battle against our minds.  All fine and good until the hubby gives that look again and blows the plan...

So I don't know if this helps at all but I give you major kudos for sharing something so personal.  I've decided that I'm a special kind of crazy and work every day on fixing the parts of that that might harm me and accepting the parts of it that make me who I am or at least the parts that make others uncomfortable and cause me to smirk at myself. 

But the part of my crazy that's anxious?  Its like a monkey on my back day in and day out.  I could literally write a blog just on my fears and the worries that creep up on me every .00007 seconds.  So much so that my biggest fear is that when I age I'll lose my mind and solely exist in the hell that my mind creates.  At least right now I can operate outside of it enough to participate in the world day in and day out.  Its losing control of that that scares the hell out of me. 

Its a battle that I fear my future children will fight and I sense my husband fears it too.  I feel sorry for all of them sometimes. 

But this is my promise to you - I'll wage this war with you.  The one thing that makes me feel better and like I've got it under control is helping other people.  So if there is ever anything I can do please don't hesitate to let me know.  I'm super intuitive when it comes to helping others.  I just struggle with applying it myself. 

So I'm here for you and all of my readers.  Consider this your wailing wall.  I'm busy doing life and don't get here to write as often as I'd like.  But I'm always here reading.  And if you reach out to  me you bet I'll be there.  THAT part of me is normal and pretty cool :) 

Sorry for the novel ya'll and I hope you've gotten something out of this hot mess of a post.  Peace out girl scouts!  XOXO

Thursday, October 21, 2010

EXHILARATED! READ THIS! You KNOW you want to!!!

I once had an English professor who had us do this really cool exercise.  He had us write down a list of words we liked then write an essay on any topic we chose, using some of our favorite words.  He then suggested we keep a running list of our favorite words and use them as much as possible.  I just thought it was funny because I thought I was the only one crazy enough to have favorite words.

Alas we come to the topic of todays posts.  EXHILARATED.  I love love love this word.  And in the past tense the most.  Why?  Because it means you're coming down from a lovely lovely life high.  Hold that thought...

Now - I am seriously seriously out of shape.  I can honestly say that I am in the worst shape of my entire life.  And I'm not proud.  The most frustrating part for me is that I have all of the tools and knowledge to turn this ship around yet I stay on the same course.  HOWEVER the tools and knowledge consist of words like "meal plan", "exercise", "THE SCALE".  All of which are daunting daunting daunting. 

So this past weekend I decided I was going to rake the leaves in our front yard.  Did you hear that? I? I? I???  That means I was going to throw on some jeans and a sweatshirt, grab the rake out of the shed (which is husband territory and not very wifey), and get girl dirty.  (Girl dirty is the kind of dirty where you've at least got on layers to protect you from the bugs that lurk under piles of leaves and you only get a little bit of dirt under your fingernails).  This was a special occurance because this girl?  Me no likely yardwork.  Its obvious by my out of control flowerbeds and overgrown shrubs. 

And lets be honest.  Though I'm a busy body - I prefer to be busy thinking things out, planning them and doing random running around.  I tend to avoid physical labor at all costs.  Why can't I just be lazy and still be skinny? 

So I rake my little heart out.  And while the hubby did come out to "assist" aka do the parts of the yard that weren't as leaf covered because I refused because it wasn't "worth it," I felt frickin awesome afterwards.

I forget how your body responds so positively to a good work out and fresh air.  I have forgotten the smell of leaves in October, the feel of flushed cheeks and a cold nose.  I have forgotten what it feels like to feel EXHILARATED. 

So after said EXHILARATION I decided to make a rule for myself.  Aside from wanting to get around to making a bucket list, I want to make it a goal to feel exhilarated more often.  And after thinking long and hard about it I realized that a lot of times exhilaration comes from DOING something, hence getting exercise, HENCE meeting some much needed weight loss goals.  DUH!!! Its the secret to success I tell you.  Someone ought to be paying me at least $1.7 million right now.  Its called trickery.  You do something exhilarating, get the juices flowing, feel the wind on your face, feel like a kid playing in leaves, and before you know it you've burned off more than you've taken in because That. My. Friends. Is. How. This. Works. 

Consider yourself learned.  So go out and do something exhilarating.  I don't even know exactly what causes that feeling but its something to experience more often.  I promise.  When was the last time you felt exhilarated?  What exhilarates you?  Maybe we could try each others ideas and rack up a whole lot of exhilaration.  Happy Thursday ya'll!  Oh and I've also decided to start a little movement of my own on Facebook.  Every day, to keep myself accountable, I'm posting what the days exercise consisted of.  As long as I have something to post even if its a walk down my street, its better than nothing.  Oh you silly fat-brain.  I'll trick you yet. 

Thursday, October 7, 2010

WHAT IS UP?

For real.  What is up?

Its been for EVER since we last spoke.  You probably thought I forgot about ya'll.  Yeah, well, I didn't.  I just suck at life.  That and I've been super busy with life, work, marriage issues (a whole OTHER post and when I get there?  I need about a 100 women to rally around me, hug me, and swear its all completely normal), "Who am I?" issues, "Where am I Going" issues and most recently strep throat turned bronchitis.  HOLLLAA!

So I've got a ton of post ideas just whizzing around in my head.  I've faltered like WHOA on the diet front.  I can mostly control my 9-5 diet but its coming home from work and being exhausted that throws a wrench in my master plan because its SO easy to go for the easy dinner option and NOT exercise.  Why can't easy always be the best choice?

I digress.  I'll write more on that over at my sista blog Healthily Ever After which also has sat like a deer in headlights for the last couple of months while I tucked summer away in its warm cozy bed for the year.

So here I sit, with the start of yet another Michigan season bringing on sickness and hopefully some positive changes once I get the ol' bronchial tubes back in order and can FUNCTION again.  This weekend?  We're heading Up North (that's Michigan speak for the magical land of fall color and splendor north of the Tri Cities).  We're taking our friends, the quads/dirtbike and hitting the trails to check out the changing leaves from the thick of Mother Nature.  Did you know that Mother Nature is a Michigander?  Yep.  She is. And she wears Maize and Blue.

Oh and all this Michigan speak? This Saturday the University of Michigan Wolverines take on the Michigan State Spartans.  GO BLUE!!!!

More later my little lovelies.  And by later I mean sooner than three months :)  I swear....

Whats new with YOU?

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

CHICKA CHICKA YEAH FAKE ID....

Don't be mad... this post has nothing to do with Superbad - that was just in my head.  Anyways...

Awww shoot dang yall!  Sorry its been a long time since my last post.  I'm just gonna come out and say it - blogging in the summer time is hard. 

I've been cross-training at work which has left my brain feeling like a stinkin' scrambled egg.  I've had birthday parties, wedding planning, a super awesome Chicago trip, family stuff, etc..etc...

I know, I know, not a good enough excuse to neglect my blog but hey, a girl can only do so much.  I HAVE however, been keeping up on all of you whether you know it or not.  However, I do good to do just that so I usually have to jump from that into something else that demands my attention before I can even think of commenting. 

I know some of you have been getting your Twilight on, some of you have been making your healthy living your goals and some of you have been slapped by summer festivities like myself. 

Whats my point here?  Seriously....  I guess I'm just saying don't give up on me.  I still love this little land we call blogging and think of things to blog about a hundred times a day.  But I guess for one of the first times in my life I'm busy living rather than writing about living so for that I'm grateful.  I've also felt comfortable on the sidelines and after some situations that forced me into the spotlight of my own life I've been dabbling more in more in playing an active role in my life rather than thinking/writing.  But you can't take the writer out of the girl so keep your eyes peeled for my random and sporadic posts until life slows down long enough for me to step off the ride, write a little ditty and jump back on. 

Thanks to those of you who opened this and didn't just bypass it thinking ---- psshht... that chick never writes.  I APPRECIATE you :) 

I hope you all had a wonderful 4th of July and that you didn't scorch yourself playing with fireworks.  Stay cool.  (That's right, we go yearbook style around here once in awhile.)  Later :)

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

IT'S HERE!!!!

I have to pee and get ready for work so this has to be quick...

So long story short the hubby and I need to get in shape - in a bad sort of way.  A friend of ours had success with a program so we're giving it a go.

We started yesterday and I've got a lot to say (as always) about the matter.  So rather than turn this fun little party spot into a weight loss blog and bore my non-weightloss-blog type readers I made a new little home for my journey.  CHECK IT OUT.   Its bland and boring because I'm in a hurry this morning but its there.  I'll pretty it up later.

Ok guys - I've got a lot of catching up to do but I'm thisclose to peeing my pants and I've gotta get ready to go earn some cash so have a great day!  I'll catch up with you a little later!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

HERE SLACKER SLACKER...

What?  You called?  Well your slacker has arrived...

Guys I SWEAR I've got a good excuse for being absent.  I've been Sick. As. A. Dog.  It went  a little something like this.  Last Friday wheezy, heavy feeling in bottom of throat/top of chest.  Saturday worked the wedding ALL DAY (whole other post) and felt like crap the entire time.  I was hot (like from the outside temps AND from fever), exhausted, stuffy and my back was killing by the end of the day.  Sunday I was practically dead to the world and completely miserable.  Monday I went to the doctor (sinus infection, possibly turning into upper respiratory infection), she gave me antibiotics, told me to rest, drink fluids, chew off my arm (just seeing if you're paying attention), blah, blah, blah.

Well I'm a complete sucker for punishment and forced myself to work ALL week.  Yep, sweating right down to my knee caps, blowing my nose until it was bright red and just an overall hot mess.  I would wake up after tossing and turning all night and hang my head over the bed directly over the humidifier to try and break up the drainage (eww) and relieve the pressure in my face.

Today is the absolute first day I've been able to function.  I actually broke down crying yesterday because I was too big of an idiot to call in to work and no one told baby Miranda to go home.  Why couldn't someone just look out for me when I clearly can't look after myself?  DUH!  (Apparently I need to explain the rules to these people).

So I've missed a couple Garage Sale, Wedding, and Secret Sunday posts.  **Sigh**  **Sniffle** *Deep rattly breath**  I'm sorry!  But guess what?  I do have some goodies to flaunt in your face so that should totally make you happy that we're friends still!  My sister-in-law is a freebie lover and she recently started this site where she scours the internet, finds freebies and posts them for all to find.  Go check it out and see how you can score some of the awesome stuff I have here.  (P.S... I'm kind of a freak and am all about quantity so I like to let them pile up for a bit before I open them - it makes it feel like opening a bunch of presents... go ahead... roll your eyes...)  Here is what I opened today...

Formula, Potty training DVD, tattoos to put on your kiddies that are along the lines of "Hi My Name is __________" in case they get lost ---brilliant!  Sidenote:  I do not have children yet but I'm game for anything free.  SCORE!


A whole ton of tampons, pads, pantylines, Aveeno shampoo/conditioner, John Frieda shampoo/conditioner, perfume, cologne, Eucerin lotion, Crest 3D whitening toothpaste.  I may not have children but I AM human so these samples are perfect for me - DOUBLE SCORE!


Purex 3-in-1 laundry sheets and of course the Constitution of the United States!  I don't do laundry and I'm not gonna lie, I'd probably only read the Constitution if I was out of air freshener cans to read in the bathroom, but the hubby does laundry and is down with history - HUBBY SCORE!


 A Jiffy cookbook, Lanacane, Prilosec, Special K protein bar, True Lemon, Lime and Orange drink mix.  I'm not sure how I feel about food/vitamin/medicine samples - INDECISIVE SCORE!


Not too shabby huh?  So go do some freebie hunting - its totally fun.  Be forewarned - its also addicting!  Have a fab week! 

Monday, June 7, 2010

A GLIMPSE OF MIRDIZZLE FO SHIZZLE!!!

Okay... so maybe you've noticed I haven't exactly been Betty Blogger these days.  I've been busy, exhausted, trying to spend time in the "real" world, blah blah blah...  I'm also running low on creative fuel.  Actually the creative fuel is just being sapped by various aspects of my life outside of the virtual community. 

Like weddings for example... Wednesdays post shall be glorious as I will be posting pictures of the bouquets for this weekend's wedding.  Hint...  there are FEATHERS involved.  Go ahead... pee a little...

Also, since I have to be awake in T-minus 7 hours and I'm pretty wore out here is a little glimpse of who the lady behind the text is (and I use the term 'lady' very loosely :)

1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?

I used to insist on it being closed - having it open freaked me out.  But now by the time I freefall into bed I don't care so much.

2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotels?

Ummm... do I have a pulse?  I have a drawer FULL!

3. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?

I love getting into a properly made bed BUT I usually find myself kicking furiously until my feet are uncovered.  So inevitably out.

4. Would you rather be attacked by a bear or a swarm of bees?

A bear.  I'd like to think it'd be faster.  The thought of bee stings and my throat closing up makes me feel like... my throats closing up.  (**abort thought**abort thought**)

5. Do you have freckles?

Not so much.  But I think they're adorable.

6. What is your biggest pet peeve?

I'm too affected by the every day goings on around me to pick one.  But right now I'll go with the drama at my workplace.  And yours truly (as previously mentioned) is the resident go-to person to lay everything out on the table.  Why oh why?  I really should be making bank in HR at a big company somewhere...

7. Have you ever peed in the woods?

Yes.  A couple times when I was little.  But since my rustic skills have decreased with age, the last time my husband and I camped in the woods he brought a fold out hunting blind, a homemade toilet seat and dug a hole so I could pee in luxury.  There was even a perfectly placed tree branch to hang our tp on.
SIDENOTE:  I cannot squat and pee without taking off EVERYTHING from the waist down.  I even had to do it in a crowded parking garage in downtown Detroit during a Tigers game.  Sorry to anyone who may have witnessed my indecent exposure.

8. Do you ever dance if there’s no music playing?

Pretty much all the time.

9. Do you chew your pens and pencils?

I'm not gonna lie... I catch myself from time to time.  Then I get completely and utterly grossed out.

10. Is it ok for guys to wear pink?

Absolutely.

11. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?

BBQ sauce... and I have been known to throw a fit if I can't.

12. What is your favorite food?

Breadsticks.  I could live off of breadsticks.

13. What movies could you watch over and over and still love?

Clueless, Grease and the Hangover to name a few.

14. Were you ever a boy/girl scout?

Nope.  Hence my inability to survive in wilderness.  But I can knock down some Thin Mint cookies does that count?

15. Can you change the oil on a car?

Yeah its easy.  You go to the nearest drive-up oil change place, put on your best "I'm not a stupid girl" face and go with it.  Voila!  Oil changed in 10 minutes or less!  (But I CAN change my own headlight!)

16. Ever gotten a speeding ticket?

Yeah for going what I genuinely believed was the speed limit. 

17. Ever ran out of gas?

Just once.   Lock my keys in the car?  More times than I can count.

18. Are you lazy?

I used to be and I hated it.  I can't sit still now (yet I'm still fat) and I hate that too. 

19. When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?

I think I was a witch a hundred times over, and a clown, and Fred Flinstone and a hippie.

20. How many languages can you speak?

English and ebonics. 

21. Who is better…Leno or Letterman?

Letterman by far.

22. Do you sing in the car?

Yep.  And sometimes I sing AT other drivers.  My mom used to get embarrassed but my feeling was "Now they get to go wherever they're going and say 'you'll never guess what I saw on my way here."  You're welcome random drivers.

23. Ever eat a pierogi?

Negative.

24. First concert?

Hmmm... It was an all-day thing with Eve 6, Uncle Kracker (before he was more awesome) and... other people that I can't remember.

25. Where would you be able to spend hours and be happy?

A 60 degree night with my pink snuggie, a campfire, no bugs, beer and a few good friends listening to Kid Rock.  (Its a Michigan thing - you may or may not understand)

26. What’s your favorite kind of doughnut?

Chocolate dipped from Tim Horton's.

27. Do you have any tattoos or piercings?

No tattoos yet.  The hubs and I want to get two puzzle pieces that would go together if you could rip off our skin and match them up.  But we can't decide what we want ON the puzzle piece if anything.
I do have my ears pierced and I've had my nose pierced twice - I miss it  :(

28. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?

My mamacita. 

29. Are you still friends with the people you knew in middle school or high school?

Some of them.  If you saw my Facebook you'd think so but I only talk to a handful of them regularly.

30. What is the last thing you ate?

A fortune cookie.  "You will attend an unusual party and meet an important person."

31. What did you want to be when you grew up?

A teacher.  A wife.  A mom.

32. Name three things that are close to you:

A pencil, a laundry basket full of clothes that need to be folded (my priorities are quite obvious) and the tv remote.

33. What was your best subject in school?

English.  I loved writing but it wasn't until college that I finally had a professor "get" me enough to make me feel comfortable to write freely.

34. What is your favorite restaurant?

G's Pizzeria - if you ever come to Michigan look them up and order their garlic spears.  I swear your life will be changed.  (Hire a personal trainer for when you get home).  They are the best breadsticks ON EARTH!  There are a few locations throughout the state.

35. Any hidden talents?

I wouldn't call it a talent but I'm finding a knack for floral arrangement.  I'm also freakishly intuitive.  Lastly, I have an unmatched ability to pretend I care when I want to punch you in the face and tell you to get over it.

36. What is your favorite girl’s name?

Miranda.  Naturally.  I kid, I kid.... it used to Isabella but thats wearing off.  I like girls names that could be boys names like Randi, Jo, etc. 

37. Would you rather be a rock star or a famous athlete?

Probably a rock star.  A clean rock star with a great wardrobe and a personal trainer.  Not a coke nosed, hotel-room-trasher psycho.  And I'd want to sit around and have jam sessions with Kid Rock and Hank Williams.  (Thats a marriage between my roots - all of my family is from Tenessee and we've migrated to Michigan) Oh and to shake hands with Eddie Vedder from Pearl Jam would also ignite my soul.

38. What are you wearing right now?

Black goucho pants, a purple shirt, my stupid bra that I hate (yes I still have on my work clothes at 12:30 am - I literally JUST sat down to relax), my wedding ring, a black bracelet that I was given as a gift from a coworker's trip to Vegas and my "Stop Child Abuse" bracelet.

39. Did you graduate from college?

Negative.  I got through about 2 years before I decided to quit wasting time and money until I could decide what I wanted to "be"

40. Do you have any nicknames?

Myer, Mirdiz, The Divine Miss M (TRUE), Dizzle and most recently Diz.  (I'm hoping one day I'll just be a symbol like Prince.  I think I like the excitement that an exclamation point could bring.) 

And there you have it.  I've been fighting the nausea that comes from pure exhaustion for the last 25 questions so its off to bed for this girl.  Night night!

Thursday, June 3, 2010

QUICKIE!!!

...Or is it "Quicky"? 

Oh my dearest readers...  I have failed you.  Please know that my lack of posts has not been caused by a lack of love.  And I do extend my deepest apologies...

This has literally been a week from hell.  In short here's the lowdown:

- With the holiday there's always catching up to do come Tuesday which typically turns into Wednesday, Thursday, you get the idea...

- Wednesday we come in to find that the accountant has up and quit.  She was making a lot of mistakes but was never quite trained right so that combined with her being too afraid to ask questions made for a pretty rough week last week

- So we're left high and dry... the boss is flying out of town on Thursday... and naturally we have to pick up some of the pieces which adds quite a bit to my plate

- On top of this the boss continues to do what I call "emptying her brain" and unloads a million more to-dos on me so SHE can enjoy her vacation (Sidenote:  I do not fault her for taking a vacation but the timing was horrendous)

- After working late last night the boss decides to have a breakdown and pushes me from trying to cope with the added stress to wanting to say "See ya!"

... And that's just work...  Things have been hectic otherwise and I've been way too exhausted to formulate a decent post (hence this piece of junk you're reading right now - but I HAD to let you know I'm still alive and kicking).

So lots going on - hopefully next week we can get back to normal.  I DO have some sweet garage sale items to post on Saturday so keep your eyes peeled.  Oh and I'm totally gonna win this giveaway.  So there.

And there you have it.  Your quickie blog post of the day.  Hope it was as good for you as it was for me! 
-

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

WEDDING WEDNESDAY

Well folks...  SIGH... its Wednesday after all.

I'm counting down to our camping trip so don't ya know this week is creeeeeping by.

Ah the wedding-ness.  This has been a fairly uneventful week thus far. I have a consultation with my 6/12/10 bride tomorrow morning bright and early.  We've got approximately two weeks until her wedding and with a holiday weekend this week I'm starting to stress.  To be honest, her schedule has not quite allowed for the planning I would like and I'm tempted to pull back.  Of course I will help in any way I can but I'm doing this one free of charge and I've hoped to avoid getting the point that we're.... well.... getting at.  Under normal circumstances I'm extremely flexible and can pull things together.  But with the extreme circumstances surrounding this one I NEED some bride participation!!!!!!!

THEN tomorrow at noon I'm going to the elected reception venue for my 6/18/11 bride so we can show the groom and mothers.  I'm very excited and know that once everyone sees the facility we will have the green light to move forward.  YAY!!!   I CAN'T wait to start showing you guys the deets.

Aside from that..... how about that American Idol (shoot dang I just came out of my Idol closet)...

Back to the wedding-ness.  I wish I had more to entertain this week but sorry yall - its been an insane week thus far and I had quite a to-do list today.  In closing, I'm curious, tell me about YOUR wedding day.  What was the most memorable moment (aside from the obvious I-Dos)?  Was there anything you'd have done different?  Would you do it all over again?  Night loves!

Sunday, May 23, 2010

SECRET SUNDAY...

I did not forget about GARAGE SALE SATURDAY yesterday... I just didn't Garage Sale is all.  I had a million bajillion things to do and couldn't even fathom the idea of taking 10 minutes to poke around a sale.

I spent my Saturday accompanying one of the bride's I am working with to a couple of reception venues.  I'm so happy to say that they decided on my favorite and its an absolutely BEAUTIFUL country club type setting with a stunning staircase that the bridal party will come down when they are announced.  The grounds are fantastic.  There's a rooftop tent where the ceremony/outdoor cocktail hour will take place and I absolutely CANNOT wait.  (ok ok I'll stop... this is turning into a WEDDING WEDNESDAY post).  More about that later...

Then I paused at home long enough to catch my breath and went down to help out my mom.  For those who do not know she has Transverse Myelitis.  It is a rare condition with a very sudden onset that causes paralysis due to nerve damage in the spine.  My dad went on a golfing trip this weekend leaving her alone and to fend for herself which isn't the world's most brilliant idea.  Granted, her condition has significantly improved since its onset in November of last year, but she is very unbalanced and still needs help getting certain things done.  So off I went to mop her floor, do the dishes and do some little errands.

Today I met a good friend at the Farmer's Market in a small town nearby and I was pretty disappointed.  No fruits/veggies yet - mostly flowers.  Sidenote:  Yours truly is NOT the most domestic and the thought of being on my knees for MANY reasons, but especially to plant anything, does not appeal. 

I then went on a little crusade to find a new pair of jeans since my last pair are pretty much useless.  I went to Old Navy and Fashion Bug first since they typically have my size and are more convenient.  Not today.  Nope.  After getting in and out of the 85 degree heat and being approached by a scary thuggish guy in the parking lot who I'm sure wanted to cause me bodily harm, still no frick frackin' jeans.

So I was going to make a trip over to the mall and quickly decided against it when I realized it would quickly turn into a 2 hour hunt and quite frankly, I had better shit to do.  So I'm down to a pair of white capris, black capris and black pants.  No jeans.  Sumbitch.

I then came home and spent 2 hours trying to get re-motivated since I had a huge to-do list for today and had yet to cross anything off of it.  At my request the hubby brought all the totes we take camping into the house so I could get everything washed and ready for next weekend.  That alone took forever.  I JUST picked up the house at 10 o'clock at night.  How does the weekend go by so fast? 

Just a few more things to try and knock out before sleepy time and the rest will have to wait until tomorrow after work.  Tuesday I'm working then taking mom to an appt.  Wednesday I'm going to try and focus on WEDDING stuff.  Thursday I'm working, going to book the reception venue with the bride and coming home to load up for our camping trip.  Then Friday its "Adios SeNorItAs!!!"  Off for a 3 1/2 day weekend.  I will try and post on Wednesday but thats going to be about it.  Next week's SECRET SUNDAY will have to be posted when I get back on Monday unless we venture away from the campground long enough for me to have a signal and connect with you lovelies for a minute.

So... now that you have a rundown of my week and can all sleep soundly... we will part after checking out today's Secret.  Enjoy!


Why did I pick this one?  Three reasons:

One, I've wanted to ask this of a few people in my life.  But haven't because I don't want to acknowledge it or am afraid to hear the truth. 

And two, I've felt like asking this of myself a few times in my life but haven't for the same reason.  

Three, and most recently, I've wanted to ask it of a high school fling who recently contacted me wanting to meet up for all the wrong reasons.  He is married with two children and one on the way.  I wonder how many women he's tried to do this with and the thought of his wife so innocent and carrying his children makes me physically ill. 

Thursday, May 20, 2010

WEDDING.... THURSDAY?

So sue me.  I flaked out on my Wedding Wednesday post yesterday because I decided to meet a girlfriend for din-din and ended up in a gab-a-thon until 10 o'clock last night.  I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive...

So my life has been consumed by a great many things lately but getting the wedding planning business pulled together and ready for launch is one of the few that I can handle.  It has felt SO good to be involved with something I absolutely love again. 

Before we proceed I googled "disaster wedding" and this is what I found.  Enjoy.



Today I would like to share with you my recent experience with one of the bride's I'm working with.  If you have room for one more prayer tonight please I beg you, pray for this wedding.  Let's list, shall we?

1)  Said wedding is taking place June 12th of this year.  Thats 23 days.... count em.

2)  The invitations JUST went out last weekend.  For real.  (DISCLAIMER - It was a day after the invites were mailed out that I was pulled in on this wedding.  Rest assured that had I been at the helm all along this would've been one fine tuned little piece of wedded mastery).

3) The DJ DOUBLE BOOKED himself and basically bid them farewell without so much as a "I suck at life."

4) Replacement DJ found.

5) The bride has invited over THREE HUNDRED people to this wedding.  When asked if she was constructing a seating chart she said "no."  I know these are a pain but no seating chart is every wedding coordinator's worst nightmare.  Believe it or not, people WANT to be told where to go.  It negates the whole awkward-ness of sitting too close to the "family" area, winding up with sucky tablemates, etc.

6) When asked why no seating chart she says, "Because there's so much family drama that I can't keep track of who hates each other week to week."  Holy.  Sweet.  Lord.  Almighty.

7) Who's preparing the food?  Family.  Non-professionally trained family.  Family that hates each other constructing a pasta bar.  Let the noodle slinging begin.

8) Last week she finds out that the aunt who was supposed to do the majority of the cooking has decided to go on vacation and will not be here to cook the food.  Man down.

9) Replacement caterer found.

10) The wedding is less than a month away and Miranda is terrified.  It takes a lot to ruffle my feathers but the brides complacency over all of this makes me shake in my flip flops. 

So say a little prayer to the wedding Gods and I'll keep you posted.  Stay cool.  - Just felt like kickin it yearbook style :)  Night all!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

SECRET SUNDAY

Well everyone, this is going to be a rather short post.  I'm in a crappy place in my head today and pretty much am not in the right mindset to whip up my usual banter.  Not to mention the fact that I'm exhausted.  After a busy Friday, a long day of hitting up garage sales yesterday followed by drinks/dinner with friends, the husband and I spent the day at my parent's house doing some random things around the house for my mom. 

However...  At some point I hopped onto Postsecret and checked out today's posts.  I'll explain a little later in a much more thought out and dark post the reasoning behind it - but this is the one that spoke to me today.  In short, my life has felt like a big cloud is blocking out the sun these days and I'm struggling.  Like I said, one day when I can wrap into a neat little package I'll lay it out for you guys.  Until then...



**Sigh....**  On that note, I've got some preliminary wedding plans to work on before I attempt to catch some zzz's.  Night all!

Saturday, May 15, 2010

GARAGE SALE SATURDAY WITH A VENGEANCE!



Hola!

Let me preface this post by telling you that today's garage sale experience was a rare one.  One where we met some totally great garage sale hosts AND the finds were spectacular-ish. 

So after a quick glance through the Garage Sale postings on Craigslist my eyes fall on these words:

"MAN'S GARAGE SALE" - To be clear - this equals my gateway drug for getting the hubby to accompany me on yet another treasure hunt.  This WAS quite possibly the garage sale from what my husband would consider heaven.  Two words:  Dirtbike stuff. 

So we mapquest the location and head to Destination Dirtbike.  We get there and the guy having the sale is quite possibly one of the coolest guys we've ever met.  He buys and resells repossessed dirtbikes and also has a huge selection of brand new dirtbike supplies/apparel.  AND he's hilarious.  Needless to say hubmeister bought a tail light thing for his bike and some pipe thing for his friends bike.  Both were new with price tags so I can confidently say that we got $110 worth of stuff for $45.  What?!

Ok enough about HIS finds.  On to me because, well, I'm cooler.

So we moved on to a garage sale held by two of the nicest gay guys I've ever met.  .  You could totally tell that these guys host some sweet parties and probably have some equally sweet friends.  They had SO much awesome barware that they have apparently received as gifts.  I even shared with them that I'd be writing about my finds on my blog and thanked them for helping me out.  This is what I found:

Totally sweet long stem champage glasses.  THESE suckers are having a coming out party for sure! 
SO EXCITED!

THEN because I'm awesome they gave me all of these nice glass candle holders for nada.  Sidenote: The two silver ones in the front have little stars etched in the silver so the light shines through them - totally perfect for Christmas.

We checked out approximately 2.7 million garage sales between a couple different subdivisions.  We even witnessed some garage sale/subdivision road rage.  Quick reenactment:

Scene:  Cars lining narrow street
Scene:  Man driving down street
Scene:  Lady driving towards man cannot get through
Man:  Sheepishly looks at lady
Lady:  Waits until they're right next to each other to roll down her window and casually says "Asshole" as she proceeds about her business

Now I am not one to buy clothes from a garage sale.   I think of a lot of dirty reasons why that is not a good idea.  But I happened to come across a couple cute shirts and decided what the hell.  At least if I can't get beyond my preconceived thoughts of dirty-ness, I can just take them to the thrift store since I'm only paying like 75 cents apiece.  Do enjoy...







This says "Staring won't get you anywhere."  I had to reassure the hub that this did not pertain to him because hey, after putting up with treasure hunting for almost FIVE HOURS... who I am to deny?

Then at some point I came across these little guys to add to my Halloween collection because I LOVE me some October 31st!



And then...  gotta add to the DVD collection since, ya know, I have time for that crap. 
(INSERT SARCASM)


And th-th-th-th-th-th-th-thats all folks!  Aside from the hub's dirtbike purchases, I got all of it for a solid $26.  Mission. Accomplished.

I hope you all are having a great weekend.  Its definitely nice to have some sunshine around these parts since its been nothing but rain, storms and wind this past week.  Get out and enjoy it!  Later lovers!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

WEDDING WEDNESDAY!!!

Okay ladies and ladies... I REMEMBERED my own creation!  Wedding Wednesday!!

So I spent an entire evening last week developing a master spreadsheet to keep each wedding organized.  I thought of EVERYTHING I swear.  But it felt great knowing that I've got a good handle on them and that with a tool like that I'd be able to keep my life together.

Side story:  The other night my 10-year old nephew calls and asks me if I wouldn't mind going online and checking out his website.  Ummm... come again?  What the?  So if you go to http://www.omazingshirtz.webs.com/ you'll see his clever little creation.  I'm so proud of him.  He was talking like such a little man about all the "business ideas" him and his friends have.

So this got my wheels a turnin.  I decided to check out the site where they were made their free website and figured I'd give it a go and make one for my wedding planning services. I've been wanting to get this off the ground for so long.  Because its free, the design options aren't the greatest but I figured I'd at least pour some ideas out and use it as a springboard for a future site that will really encompass what I want the business to look like.

Wellll... its basically a hot mess hunk of junk that I threw together in approximately an hour.  And I'm even a bit ashamed to share but ya know what?  You've been warned, I know its a mess and not pretty yet... so go ahead and check it out.  I want to have your input on things it needs whether its design, content, etc. And if you know any web designers who want to help create a "real" website for me on the cheap please do tell.

Ok....(bites finger nails)... Here you go....  Check out Pink Productions baby!  (FYI this is the name I came up with at random.  I'm totally up for suggestions here too!)

Night lovelies!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

I DO



Ok... so here's the honest truth (and yes that's Dennis and I on August 12th, 2007):

I am a self-proclaimed Wedding L-O-V-E-R.

Of course like every girl I've dreamed of my wedding since approximately 37 seconds before I was catapulted out of the womb and into the hands of all who had the honor of witnessing my arrival into this world.

Then I came thisclose to making the mistake of marrying my highschool boyfriend.  As I've said before, I was WAY more excited about the wedding planning than I ever could've been about the prospect of being married to my then fiance. 

We visited a wedding planner (because I thought I was a rockstar and deserved the celebrity treatment...silly, silly TV) and I was hooked.  First of all, the planner's name was Melanie and I adored her from our first consultation.  She ended up being like a big sister I never had and who I totally looked up to. (I was blessed with two brothers complete with being farted on and being told I was adopted...)

We were at approximately our third consultation when we got talking and she asked if I knew anyone looking for a part-time job who might be able to help her out.  Ummm.....  HELLO.  My name is MIRANDA.  I want to be your LADY.  And so it began....

I loved every minute of it.  After the wedding was called off and I skipped town I completely lost touch with her.  I've psych-stalker Googled her many times to no avail.  But I didn't lose touch with the feeling I had when planning a wedding.  Some brides become totally overwhelmed by the planning and avoidable chaos that surrounds a wedding but I absolutely love it. 

I've since worked as an event coordinator at an absolutely stunning venue and loved it still.  I never tired of fluffing the brides dress and being with her in that moment of nerves right before she walked down the aisle.  I never tired of the look on the grooms face when he sees his bride for the first time or when you see the bridesmaids sneaking each other tissues during the ceremony. 

And I've even planned my own wedding in two insane weeks under some very extreme circumstances.  (That's a WHOLE other story... to check it out click HERE).

Last year I had a sudden change of career and have missed the wedding planning business beyond belief.  But guess what?!  In one way or another I'm currently a part of FIVE weddings.  If I had a Happy Dance you can bet I'd be up off my seat right now. 

Wedding #1 - A girl I know from work is getting married this June 12th.  Due to some wedding drama she came to me last week asking for my (ahem!) professional help - ha!  So I'm stepping in to help her get her life together in this last month and will likely be there the day of to make sure she finally gets to enjoy the fact that she's getting married. 

Wedding #2 - My brother-in-law is getting married this September. The hubby and I are both standing in the wedding and I am beyond ecstatic at the thought of walking down the aisle with him again.  We never had the big reception so this should be epic all around.   Plus my dress is stunning (if only I were worthy :)

Wedding #3 - Our friends from Montana are getting married in Vegas next May.  The groom is a friend of mine from college and his fiance is an absolute doll.  She has totally let me be her wedding guru and I love it. 

Wedding #4 - My boss' son is getting married next June.  After 7 years and 2 kids they've finally decided to set a date and his wife-to-be has asked for my help.  There is nothing better than someone trusting you with something you love.  We've already been discussing preliminary plans and I think its going to be an amazing wedding.

Wedding #5 - My former coworker and friend is getting married next July.  They are getting married at the venue I used to work at and the very same place my husband and I were married.  (Downfall - seeing my old boss who I did not give a two weeks notice to but rather left a note on her desk with my key.  Solid.)  But they've got phenomenal taste so it will inevitably be a beautiful affair and being a bridesmaid I'll get to be on the front line of all of the planning and festivities. 

So there you have it.  The next year is going to be wedding overload and I couldn't be happier with that.  My hope is to take some photos from all of them and be able to build a good portfolio so this girl can kiss "normal" work goodbye and have my own event planning business.  So in honor of all the wedding jazz, I'm loosely dubbing Wednesday posts "Wedding Wednesdays."  (ok kinda lame - any thoughts for a way cooler name?)  I'll share some of the plans as they're coming together, photos of plans, etc.  I might even ask for your advice so strap on your creative cap and lets DO THIS!


Saturday, April 24, 2010

GARAGE SALE SATURDAY!!!



Okay... so... Garage Sale numero uno of the season?  Not so much.

Issue #1)  I had mapped out six different sales that I wanted to check out.  Apparently I'm a bigger idiot than I even knew and didn't pay attention to the (ahem!) dates... of... the... sales??  So two of them are actually next weekend.  And one of them only went until noon and we showed up at 12:36.  Aye yay yay.

Issue #2)  One of the actual existing garage sales turned out to be one that we hit up last summer.  This guy has no less than 1 million rusty tools.  AND he is one of those people that keeps talking to you long after you've walked away.  Totally awkward.  Within 30 seconds I whispered to the hubby that we needed to get out of there stat before I ripped my skin off.  Overcast skies threatening to rain on my garage sale parade do not equal a very patient Miranda.

** SIDE NOTE - YES my husband is awesome enough to accompany on my attempts at being a thrifty goddess.  He doesn't even let me see him roll his eyes when I bust out a frickin map like Dora the Explorer and he generally lets me pick up whatever crap I decide is a necessity and doesn't get mad when, in turn, I talk him out of the stuff he thinks he can't live without.  So... kudos to my husband for being a pretty awesome specimen.

Issue #3 - We came thisclose to being the proud owners of a popup camper.  We are avid campers and tented it all last summer.  I'm down with the whole rustic camping bit but I'm not gonna complain if you offer to give me an enclosed space with a bed that won't collapse when the wind blows.  However, the lady had someone already interested who was supposed to come back later to show it to his wife.  Well wife must've liked because they bought it.

So to supplement my need for thrift we went to a consignment/antique shop in town where I found yet another rustic barn star for the house which I have yet to find a place for.  SUCCESS!

Then we went to Hallmark where I actually remembered to use my "Buy one card, get one 1/2 off" coupon AND my $3 off coupon.  DOUBLE SUCCESS!

After that we went to a video store in town that's going out of business where I picked up seven DVDs for about $30.  SUCCESS TIMES THREE!

So here are a couple of today's finds for you to feast your eyes on.  Enjoy!


Rustic star - I'm addicted to these little gems but am quickly running out of places that won't make it look like I need a rustic star intervention ...


These are the 7 DVD's that will keep me on the couch all day tomorrow while it rains. 
1. Someone Like You 
2. Whip It 
3. Juno 
4. Bounce
5. Elizabethtown
6. Beautiful
7. Four Christmases 


BONUS!!  SURPRISE!!  My sister-in-law who is the Thrift QUEEN found this precious little beast for me at the local consignment shop.  I have searched and searched for a Teddy Ruxpin forever.  He even came with a tape all ready to read me a story!  Except... Teddy must've experienced some trauma since 1985 because he refuses to speak :(  Oh and my dogs barked at him for the first 30 minutes he was in our house.  And sometimes I have to push his eyes shut because they freak me out.  But seriously, isn't he precious?!

Friday, April 23, 2010

IT'S TIME!! GET OUT YOUR QUARTERS!!




Time for what??  I'll tell you my friend... Time for GARAGE-slash-YARD SALES!!!

Let me first begin by telling you that I did not quite "get" the awesomeness of garage sales until I quit my previous job.  I was working in event planning which meant for almost five years straight I worked EVERY weekend.  I quit this job in May which apparently is like peak garage sale season around here.

So that very first Saturday that I was free, my girlfriend and I grabbed a coffee at Bigby (NEVER AGAIN - way way way overrated.  I'll stick to Starbucks fo sho).  We then proceeded to hit up the garage sales.  And she took me to, like, garage sale HEAVEN.  A little thing most affectionately call "The Neighborhood Garage Sale."  DE-LIGHT-FUL.  I seriously couldn't believe this fun little thrifty world existed and I had no idea.

So I'm jumping the gun a bit this year but the weather's been decent so I think I'm ready to start dabbling in the garage sales.  I've decided to break into them real slow through the month of April.  Then at the end of May I'm planning a garage sale season kickoff event like no other.  The plan is that the weekend after Memorial Day I will actually hit the road bright and early with a real actual map in hand because I will tear the streets up looking for crap I don't need.

Last year my compulsive list-making even got the better of me.  I actually started a spreadsheet to list the things I bought, compared to what they'd cost at the store just to further solidify the fact that garage sales make me feel like a thrifty rockstar.

That being said, I want to show off some of my best finds.  And if you're not a garage sale lover I swear on a stack of .50 cent books in a musty smelling box that you will be when I'm done flashing my used goods in your face.  Brace yourselves for..... GARAGE SALE SATURDAYS!!!!!!!!

And if you've never heard of http://www.garagesalefinder.com/ - ummm... go there right this very instant and bask in its awesomenes.  Wanna know the bonus of garage saling?  Walking a ton that's what.  So what are your Saturday plans?  Any good garage sale stories?  Any die-hard garage saling tips?  Have a great weekend everyone!

Sunday, April 18, 2010

DOMINICK CALHOUN

I know I haven't posted in a few days... and there are many things I could write about... but my fingers and my heart will only let me write about one thing.  Dominick Calhoun.  The innocent 4-year old child who's life was taken much too soon. 

I did not know Dominick or his family personally.  But when a story like this comes to life in your own backyard you can't help but ache each and every day for the precious little angel and his family.  As such, I'll let you readers read the story for yourself as I do not know all of the facts myself.  A forewarning to parents who may read this blog that this is a disturbing story but little Dominick deserves to have his story told.

Click HERE to read the news story.

Once you read the article please seek out the Facebook pages "Justice for Dominick" and "Dominick's Law."  The first is simply a page to show support for the family of Dominick.  The latter is an attempt at bringing this to the front step of the Michigan/Federal legal systems and amending the laws accordingly. 

As you read, the "mother" of this little boy was held and quickly released from jail.  As stated by many on the Facebook pages, if that woman is still alive then she didn't do enough to save her child.  It is the hope of many in our community and across the country that she is charged at the bare minimum as an accessory to the murder of her son. 

I ask that all of you please post about Dominick on your blogs, suggest these pages to your friends on Facebook, Twitter, etc.  And in honor of Dominick and in support of the cause we are fighting please show this ribbon on your pages.  Thanks!


Monday, April 12, 2010

BANGO JANGO!!!

Howdy ya'll!!!  Well we successfully made it back from our trip down south.  We did NOT get swallowed by the potholes going through Kentucky.  If you haven't driven through Kentucky I strongly suggest you add it to your list of things to do in life (just hold on tight and look out for potholes).  But it is seriously Beau-ti-ful.  There comes a point south of Cincinnati, just crossing into Kentucky where the road winds through the hills and you feel instantly relaxed.

Our trip was pretty nice.  The weather was mostly beautiful (80 degrees and sunny).  We did some fun things such as fishing at the pond behind my relative's house, visited Reelfoot Lake with all the cypress trees growing in the water, went to the flea market where my Papa wheels and deals on the weekends, had lunch at Sonic (sweet Jesus if you've never had a lemon-berry slush and a chili-cheese pie then you HAVE NOT lived).  We also sipped on the sweet awesomeness that is peach flavored Nehi (its a peach flavored pop).  We roamed the streets of the neighborhood I lived in for 10 months when I was little, visited with family, took a barge down the Mississipi and drove into Missouri to a fun joint called Lamberts "Home of the Throwed Rolls" - a restaurant with amazing southern cooking where they throw hot rolls to you from across the room.  We visited with oodles and oodles of family and finished off the trip with a down home fish fry with even more family. 

The downfalls of the trip consisted of me getting sick mid-week with a sore throat and major sinus drainage mmmmm....  We forgot the air mattress and therefore slept on the rock hard floor at my aunt's house which was okay except for the fact that:
Day 1 - I couldn't sleep because of a migraine
Day 2 - I couldn't sleep because my ARMS ached really really bad.  I know that sounds crazy and it IS.  But they did and I'm pretty sure this exact thing happened when we went camping last time.  I think I must fall asleep on them and the poor things get squished between my body and the hard ground.
Day 3 - I started having the horrible sore throat and drainage issue
Day 4 - It got chilly and we pretty much had all of the blankets in the house beneath us for "cushion" and I was too tired and out of it to actually get up and pull one out from underneath us so I shivered, rolled over, slept, shivered, rolled over, shivered.... all night... long

The other downfalls of the trip pertained to family.  First, and foremost, there's just too many of them.  I end up feeling like I'm not spending enough time with one or the other and come home guilty.  I find myself wanting to spend every minute with them but at the same time want it to be a VACATION and get some quality alone time with the hubby.  I know there are sensible ways to resolve this but everyone's on different schedules and I try not to appear control freakish so I try and go with the flow and end up feeling, like I said, Guilty (with that capital 'G').

And the last downfall is going to sound a little selfish but hear me out.  There is a lot of dysfunction down there amongst my family.  I won't get into all the little details but its heart wrenching to say the least and usually ends up feeling more like a mission trip than a vacation.  Make no mistake, I love and adore my family, ALL of them.  But its hard to see some of the sad things I see when I go and being a natural born "fixer" its difficult to detach and enjoy yourself when you want so bad to fix their world in the week that you're there.  So taking the first "vacation" in five years, the first week-long vacation with my hubby ever... it was a bit disheartening coming home and not feeling recharged whatsoever.  But I wouldn't give it up for anything.  All in all it was a good trip and lets face it, some of my elderly relatives aren't going to be around forever so it was great to spend time with them.  Oh and we picked up a little southern twang after the first 24 hours.  We also added the phrase 'bango jango' after everything we said to reinforce the southern-ness of it all and cracked up at ourselves. 

So there you have it ya'll - our trip in a little ol' nutshell.. Bango Jango!  Now please... if yer so inclined... do take a little ol' minute and fix yer eyes on these here photos... Bango Jango!

Check out that southern scene - fields and sky...


This little gem sat outside the hotel in town... only in Tennessee


The decor inside Lambert's Cafe in Sikeston, MO.... Check this place out if you ever get the chance.  I swear this place is awesome - food, environment, the little old lady playing "Git away" music on the piano... everything...


The hubby with a candy cigarette in his mouth - trying to fit in with the locals.  Good heavens...

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

ETIQUETTE QUESTION - PLEASE HELP!

Okay everyone... I'm forewarning you that this blog might be a bit of a downer but its all relevant to the question I need answered at the bottom of the post I SWEAR...

Like every girl I dreamed of the "dream wedding."  I've also worked in special event planning for approximately 4 years at this point and have therefore stockpiled idea after idea for my own wedding.  All that was missing was the "one."

When I met my husband in 2006 we knew within a very short time that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together (Gaaaagggggg).  But seriously, I told my dad the very next day that I had met the guy he was going to give me away to.  To which my dad probably replied something like, "Good God here we go.  You need to chill out."  But I meant it.

At this time Dennis' dad was battling non-hodgkins lymphoma.  Within a few months his cancer was back with a vengeance and we were spending a good amount of time commuting between work and the Cancer Institute in Detroit.  We did have some fun along the way but our "courtship" had a very dark cloud looming over it.

Then the day came where they called everyone in to let us know that there was nothing more they could do for his dad but make him comfortable in his last weeks.  I couldn't believe that this man's health had deteriorated right before us in such a short amount of time.   And I couldn't come close to imagining how my then boyfriend could bear the finality of the situation.  Furthermore, as rough as it was going to be I knew I had to somehow put aside my own sadness for both his dad and for him and his entire family, and be as supportive as I could possibly be.

One night Dennis said to me that although we hadn't been together long, he knew that we were going to be together.  And that if I was ok with putting a rush on things he would like for us to get married before his dad passed away.  (Of course I said yes.  Even though it meant giving up the dream wedding - the possibility for him to have a memory of his dad at our wedding meant far more).

Even as a writer, I cannot begin to put into words the amount of emotional turmoil that ensued over the next couple of weeks.  We went back and forth on whether or not it was "appropriate," if we wanted to give up the "dream wedding," if we wanted our wedding day overcome with the sadness that was in everyone's hearts at that time.  We had no idea what we were in store for.

Dennis spent the next two weeks at his dads bedside while I frantically and single-handedly tried to pull together as nice of a wedding as possible for us.  Hours were spent calling family, as it was too late for invitations.  Luckily I was working as an event coordinator at a beautiful venue and even though it was peak wedding season, we were able to squeeze in a morning ceremony and brunch reception on Sunday, August 12th.

I would work during the day, checking up on Dennis, and getting status reports about his dad then run to Michaels, work on favors (frivolous but I wanted it to feel as "normal" as possible), run to Costco and buy fresh flowers, run to the mall to pick out a sundress for my maid-of-honor, run to Kohls to pick up outfits for the flower girl and ring bearer, etc.  

At this time Dennis was working 3rd shift so I'd go take him "lunch" at midnight and sit with him on the tailgate of his truck and talk about his dad and our future together.  It was an insanely exhausting couple of weeks.

So the wedding day came.  There was no bridal shower.  There were no bachelor/bachelorette parties.  There was no bridal party.  There was no first dance.  There was no honeymoon..... And there was no Dennis' dad. 

He passed away two days before our wedding.  Two days before he passed I went to visit him.  He was sleeping a lot and had not shown any signs of communication that week.  I sat down next to him and told him I was there.  I told him that he had an amazing son and that we were getting married and that I would take good care of him and make him happy.  He opened his eyes and I put my hand in his to show him the ring.  He smiled for the first time in days... and for possibly the last time. 

Because of this, his dad's family insisted we go on with the wedding.  As torn as we were Dennis said that since much of his dad's family were in town for the funeral that it would be the closest he'd get to having his dad there.  So we did it.  Heavy hearts and all.

Sometimes we talk about it and say we wish we had waited.  Instead of waking up the day after our wedding and jumping the next flight to a romantic tropical location, we got ready and went to his dad's funeral.  But ultimately, do we regret it?  Absolutely not.  We've made it through some of the toughest couple of years imaginable.  We've dealt with more in the last two years than most marriages have to endure in the first 25.  And we are as in love with each other as we were in the beginning.

And that, we feel, is cause for celebration. 

So my question is this:  Is it inappropriate for us to have a blowout party for a 5th anniversary?  I know its usually the 25th or 50th that people go all out for but we'd really like to renew our vows (in that romantic tropical place - money pending) and come home and have a huge party.  It'd give us a chance to enjoy the party planning process and actually celebrate our union during a much lighter, happier time. 

We certainly wouldn't want people to bring gifts and would do something less formal than a wedding reception.  There'd be no toasts, or wedding cake or wedding dress.  I really feel like everyone who knows us and knows the circumstances that surrounded our wedding would understand why we're pimping out our 5th anniversary but on the other hand I don't know if its inappropriate.  Advice?  Pretty please???

Sunday, March 21, 2010

INFORMER...sajfl;jaslkfj;lasjfd;lasjd... A LICKY BOOM BOOM DOWWNNNN...

Pssssst.... Insatiable.... are you there?  You've got a PRIZE TO CLAIM!!!!!!!!!!!!

After MUCH deliberation (and trust me this was TOUGH) it came to be that Insatiable's playlist pretty much warmed my insides and touched me in all the right places (like MUSICALLY you gutterbrains).

And as a bonus I've gone techy and added a playlist over herrrrrr--------------------------->
so you guys can sample.

Congrats love!  And thanks for tickling my ear drums with your flippin sweet tunes.

Thanks to everyone who participated!  I thought I was pretty musically diverse but you ladies have got some eclectic taste which made me happy. 

I hope you're all having a fantastic Sunday.  I've got some ideas brewing for the next contest so hang tight little chitlins... and don't be sore losers.  I love all twelve of you equally.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

ALMOST THERE...

Well, I hope everyone had a great week.  I spent mine working (boooo), having weird dreams about having to raise people's kids, dining with friends on St Patty's day, trying the whole cooking thing (again) and listening to the cool tunes everyone sent in for the contest. 

(Hangs my head in shame)....  The winner was supposed to be announced yesterday....

And I didn't get home until after 10pm and just felt I couldn't divulge the winner in proper fashion (it was WAY too late to get out the scissors and construction paper and make confetti).  So I slacked and went to sleep.

Now this morning - YOU WAIT AGAIN - because this is just a teaser blog to say "Hi everyone, sorry I haven't announced the winner yet but my iPhone took a crap last night, I had emotional withdrawal and nearly physical too so I'm off to the AT&T store to get it taken care of." 

But I'll be back!  So lets go ahead and pound it - ya know,  like when two people make a fist and join them together in a display of "we're awesome-ness?  Pound it for blog awesomeness, for the hope of a new iPhone and for the sake of today's contest winner who's tracklist made me want to get up and dance.

In due time little children.... in due time...  In the meantime - listen to a "feel good" song and do something that makes you happy.  What's your "feel good" song?

Sunday, March 14, 2010

THE RETURN OF THE JEDI...

Sorry I've been absent but after I virtually partied my face off on Sara's birthday, my creative juices have gone on vacation.  A quick reminder before we continue:  THE CONTEST ENDS AT 12am THIS MONDAY ...  So if you haven't entered... get in gear and participate!

So not only have I been a blog slacker (blacker?  slogger? hmmm...) but I've pretty much been a LIFE slacker.  I actually committed the cardinal sin of exercising and hung clothes on my treadmill last week.  I considered selling the elliptical on Craigslist, I had McDonalds for the first time since January 1st and I have generally sucked at being healthy all around.  Not my proudest moment. 

After reading another blogger's post this morning it got me thinking about how good I feel when I've got my head on even partially straight and make good choices, whether it's food selection, working out, prioritizing, budgeting, cooking, etc.  Sometimes I just want to take a week off, lay on the couch in my pink snuggie (yes its true) and fall off the wagon.  Well, I didn't get to chillax on the couch in my snuggie but I definitely fell off said wagon in many other instances. 

*Sigh* So I'm making a conscious decision to knock it off.  To stop feeling sorry for myself, and to start doing the things again that make me feel good and successful in my two most important roles: wife and personal advocate to this sweet chick named Miranda (that's ME for those of you who only know me as that Ink on My Sleeve blog lady...)  Today I buzzed around my house cleaning, doing laundry, sorting through the dreaded stack of mail, planning my meals for the week and going grocery shopping.  I felt like an actual functioning human being for the first time since I slipped into this haze I've been in. 

Which means this week I've got no reason not to eat healthy, stress about money (because lets face it - it is what it is), wear socks I don't like because they're the only ones clean or feel like my house is a mess.  I should be feeling pretty great right?  Well.... I don't.  I'm in a funk but I'm determined to pull myself out of it.  I'm also going to make some hard decisions this week - like maybe schedule a much needed doctor appointment, finally schedule my root canal, research psychiatrists (because as much as I love my blog outlet, I need another one where I can talk through some of the things that are bringing me down), put in for time off for a Tennessee trip and inquire about a possible job opportunity. 

I guess there's a lot looming in the week ahead so that's probably why I'm not feeling all that kick arse.  Sooo... whats a girl to do when she's lacking motivation (besides consuming hard liquor or dropping $100 at Target)?  MAKE A LIST OF COURSE! 

REASONS WHY I NEED TO STOP BEING  A LIFE SLACKER:
- My husband's a pretty awesome guy so I should probably step back up to the plate on the whole "wife" bit
- I'm not getting in shape by sippin' on a Shamrock shake
- Those upcoming vacations will be much more fun if I'd get myself in gear
- Due to crazy circumstances (a WHOLE other post) my wedding day wasn't exactly everything I dreamed of (aside from the dude at the end of the aisle who whispered to me that he had to poop.  THAT my friends, is what dreams are made of).  Anyway the husband and I are both standing in his brothers wedding in September and get to walk down the aisle together - I want to look smokin when he sees me.
- Ummm... life is short so why the hell slack my way through it?  DUH YOU IDIOT SELF!
- There have been too many 'negatives' in my life that I've had no control over.  Its time to start taking control of the aspects I CAN control.

So there's some good solid motivation.  I've got a lot of work to do so I better rest up.  Night loves!  (P.S.  I've been listening to some of your submissions to the CONTEST and you guys are making this hard on me.  If you haven't entered yet DO IT!)