Monday, November 22, 2010


Sometimes when it truly sinks in that we still don't have children I have a loneliness settle over me that is unbearable and suffocating. It makes me feel homesick for the life I thought I'd have at this point - homesick while sitting in my living room. I don't think anyone in my every day life could ever understand. So there it is world.

Saturday, November 20, 2010


Ok I'm doing this on my phone so please forgive my lack of grammar and punctuation skills. I'm gonna get right to the point here and well, you can judge if you want to but there truly is no shame in my game. Because life? Is too short not to jump in balls deep and I'm not above a little graveling to make some things happen.

Though it would be much more productive and life changing I'm not asking you to help me rescue an orphan from a third world country (but we should do that like next week), Im not asking you to help me save the rainforest (schedule that for the week after next mmmkay?).

Nope. I'm starting small and shallow and a little white trash-ish here and asking you all to help me cross one itty bitty thing off of my bucket list. While I do have meaningful things on there like mission and volunteer work, I also have something that goes a little something like this:

"Be front and center at a Kid Rock concert."

Yep. That's where we're starting. I can't explain it. There's something about a long haired, Pam Anderson loving, Waffle House fighting piece of white boy, belting out some hip-hop, country, bluesy, southern rock that gets my blood pumping. Maybe it's a Michigan thing.

Anyway, he's throwing a 40th birthday bash kickoff to his next tour just a half hour from my home in January. Presale tickets go on sale Monday. I known it's ridonkulous commercialism crap and trickery buy the only way to guarantee front and center
is to, of course, purchasw the VIP tickets. Which are, ahem! $300. That's THREE. HUNDRED. DOLLARS. Which of course I don't have just laying around.

SO I'm a pretty big fan of Pure Romance and my consultant is a pretty big fan of Kid Rock and thankfully likes me alright too :) So she's generously offered to helpe out by giving me 40% of all orders I turn in to her by Monday afternoon. So this is where y'all come in. I don't care if you're married, hooking up, or flying solo every woman can use a little (or if you ARE married - a LOT of oomph).

So of you want to do a little sexual healing and help me take the ol' pen to the ol' bucket list you can peruse the products at Rather than ordering through the site she does ask that all orders be placed directly (and anonymously of course) through her at Happy sexin y'all!

Oh and feel free to get anyone you know in on my little project. I will be eternally grateful when I'm sitting beneath Kid Rock, screaming my lungs out and feeling like a rockstar for just one night. Mucho gracias!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010


This post was inspired by my dear love Mrs.Fatass.   (Sorry Sue I seem to draw inspiration from you a lot and well, I apologize.  This actually started out as a comment in response to her post today which you should check out here since its the prelude to what I'm about to say. 

And we continue...

If you did what you were told like good readers you know that the word of the day today is ANXIETY.  Doesn't that word just sound anxious?  Hey English majors - is there a word for a word that feels like it sounds?  Just wondering...

Focus.  Little one.  Focus.



I want to say I suffer from EXACTLY what you described but I adore you too much to take that away from  you and acknowledge that while they appear to be, no two people or experiences are the same. But sister?  I will say this: 

I feel ya. 

And if it IS anything like what I deal with then I can probably assume that you are sitting there feeling somewhat like a weight has been lifted but are also thinking "Shit ya'll that isn't even HALF of my crazy."  (I can't help but thinking of the part in Baby Mama where Amy Poehler says "BITCH I don't know your LIFE!")

I feel compelled to share a tidbit with you.  The hubby and I went to a bagel shop this weekend.  Sitting there with my husband, my bagel and my smoothie I had this feeling hit me like a ton of bricks.  A feeling like I didn't belong there and like I don't belong where I am in my life as a whole.  It was one of the heaviest and craziest feelings I've ever experienced.  So much so that I had to get up and leave...  I sat there looking at the families with children, the elderly couple that had just come in after church, the women behind the counter.  And felt like I was looking at them through a window.  And I still can't shake it.

And my husband?  Being that he doesn't experience anxiety, he gave me the look that said  "Holy shit I did not sign up for this," which makes it 100% worse.  I've been told to "get out of my head" more than once by people who more than don't get it.

I haven't quite figured out the secret to escaping something that's attached to my very body.  But if you feel this way too can we make a pact?  That the first one to figure it out please share?  I think one of the hardest things is feeling like there's got to be a higher quality of life outside of this place in our minds. 
But is there?  And its not exactly something we wear on our sleeves.  So sometimes I have to make myself feel better by assuming everyones mind is wired like mine and that we're all fighting the same battle against our minds.  All fine and good until the hubby gives that look again and blows the plan...

So I don't know if this helps at all but I give you major kudos for sharing something so personal.  I've decided that I'm a special kind of crazy and work every day on fixing the parts of that that might harm me and accepting the parts of it that make me who I am or at least the parts that make others uncomfortable and cause me to smirk at myself. 

But the part of my crazy thats anxious?  Its like a monkey on my back day in and day out.  I could literally write a blog just on my fears and the worries that creep up on me every .00007 seconds.  So much so that my biggest fear is that when I age I'll lose my mind and soley exist in the hell that my mind creates.  At least right now I can operate outside of it enough to participate in the world day in and day out.  Its losing control of that that scares the hell out of me. 

Its a battle that I fear my future children will fight and I sense my husband fears it too.  I feel sorry for all of them sometimes. 

But this is my promise to you - I'll wage this war with you.  The one thing that makes me feel better and like I've got it under control is helping other people.  So if there is ever anything I can do please don't hesitate to let me know.  I'm super intuitive when it comes to helping others.  I just struggle with applying it myself. 

So I'm hear for you and all of my readers.  Consider this your wailing wall.  I'm busy doing life and don't get here to write as often as I'd like.  But I'm always here reading.  And if you reach out to  me you bet I'll be there.  THAT part of me is normal and pretty cool :) 

Sorry for the novel ya'll and I hope you've gotten something out of this hot mess of a post.  Peace out girl scouts!  XOXO

Thursday, October 21, 2010


I once had an English professor who had us do this really cool exercise.  He had us write down a list of words we liked then write an essay on any topic we chose, using some of our favorite words.  He then suggested we keep a running list of our favorite words and use them as much as possible.  I just thought it was funny because I thought I was the only one crazy enough to have favorite words.

Alas we come to the topic of todays posts.  EXHILARATED.  I love love love this word.  And in the past tense the most.  Why?  Because it means you're coming down from a lovely lovely life high.  Hold that thought...

Now - I am seriously seriously out of shape.  I can honestly say that I am in the worst shape of my entire life.  And I'm not proud.  The most frustrating part for me is that I have all of the tools and knowledge to turn this ship around yet I stay on the same course.  HOWEVER the tools and knowledge consist of words like "meal plan", "exercise", "THE SCALE".  All of which are daunting daunting daunting. 

So this past weekend I decided I was going to rake the leaves in our front yard.  Did you hear that? I? I? I???  That means I was going to throw on some jeans and a sweatshirt, grab the rake out of the shed (which is husband territory and not very wifey), and get girl dirty.  (Girl dirty is the kind of dirty where you've at least got on layers to protect you from the bugs that lurk under piles of leaves and you only get a little bit of dirt under your fingernails).  This was a special occurance because this girl?  Me no likely yardwork.  Its obvious by my out of control flowerbeds and overgrown shrubs. 

And lets be honest.  Though I'm a busy body - I prefer to be busy thinking things out, planning them and doing random running around.  I tend to avoid physical labor at all costs.  Why can't I just be lazy and still be skinny?  Whoever invented THAT rule can suck it. (You HAVE to love that I don't post frequently and still count on you guys loving me even when I go white trash enough to say "suck it.")

So I rake my little heart out.  And while the hubby did come out to "assist" aka do the parts of the yard that weren't as leaf covered because I refused because it wasn't "worth it," I felt frickin awesome afterwards.

I forget how your body responds so positively to a good work out and fresh air.  I have forgotten the smell of leaves in October, the feel of flushed cheeks and a cold nose.  I have forgotten what it feels like to feel EXHILARATED.  SHABLAM!!! You thought I forgot about it didn't you?  You were sitting there wondering if this was EVER going to come full circle weren't you?  Thats pretty much how I tell stories.  My husband tells me its the Attention Whore in me.  He often says "Why do you DO that?  Cant you just tell a story start to finish without the buildup."  Ummm no shit face I can't.  Why?  Because I have a vagina and I said so.  Deal. 

So after said EXHILARATION I decided to make a rule for myself.  Aside from wanting to get around to making a bucket list, I want to make it a goal to feel exhilarated more often.  And after thinking long and hard about it I realized that a lot of times exhilaration comes from DOING something, hence getting exercise, HENCE meeting some much needed weight loss goals.  DUH!!! Its the secret to success I tell you.  Someone ought to be paying me at least $1.7 million right now.  Its called trickery hoes.  You do something exhilarating, get the juices flowing, feel the wind on your face, feel like a kid playing in leaves, and before you know it you've burned off more than you've taken in because That. My. Friends. Is. How. This. Works. 

Consider yourself learned.  So go out and do something exhilarating.  I don't even know exactly what causes that feeling but its something to experience more often.  I promise.  When was the last time you felt exhilarated?  What exhilarates you?  Maybe we could try each others ideas and rack up a whole lot of exhilaration.  Happy Thursday ya'll!  Oh and I've also decided to start a little movement of my own on Facebook.  Every day, to keep myself accountable, I'm posting what the days exercise consisted of.  As long as I have something to post even if its a walk down my street, its better than nothing.  Oh you silly fat-brain.  I'll trick you yet you little bastard.  Peace out homeskillzz :)

Thursday, October 7, 2010


For real.  What the HELL is up yo?

Its been for EVER since we last spoke.  You probably thought I forgot about ya'll.  Yeah, well, I didn't.  I just suck at life.  That and I've been super busy with life, work, marriage issues (a whole OTHER post and when I get there?  I need about a 100 women to rally around me, hug me, and swear its all completely normal), "Who am I?" issues, "Where am I Going" issues and most recently strep throat turned bronchitis.  HOLLLAA!

So I've got a shit ton (thats Michigan speak for a LOT) of post ideas just whizzing around in my head.  I've faltered like WHOA on the diet front.  I can mostly control my 9-5 diet but its coming home from work and being exhausted that throws a wrench in my master plan because its SO easy to go for the easy dinner option and NOT exercise.  Why can't easy always be the best choice?  Who do I have to flash my lady lumps to to make that a rule?

I digress.  I'll write more on that over at my sista blog Healthily Ever After which also has sat like a deer in headlights for the last couple of months while I tucked summer away in its warm cozy bed for the year.

So here I sit, with the start of yet another Michigan season bringing on sickness and hopefully some positive changes once I get the ol' bronchial tubes back in order and can FUNCTION again.  This weekend?  We're heading Up North (thats Michigan speak for the magical land of fall color and splendor north of the Tri Cities).  We're taking our friends, the quads/dirtbike and hitting the trails to check out the changing leaves from the thick of Mother Nature.  Did you know that Mother Nature is a Michigander?  Yep.  She is. And she wears Maize and Blue.

Oh and all this Michigan speak? This Saturday the University of Michigan Wolverines take on the Michigan State Spartans.  GO BLUE!!!!

More later my little lovelies.  And by later I mean sooner than three months :)  I swerrrr....

Whats new with YOU?

Sunday, August 29, 2010


Hello all.

With the unofficial end of summer next weekend I thought I'd do a little update on some of what has kept me from blogging my fingers off these last couple of months.

First off and completely lame - WORK.  Yep.  More than my boss or coworkers can even imagine work has weighed heavily on my mind the last couple months.  We had some staffing changes that required I step up into a new position, one that requires special training/schooling in most forums but yours truly jumped in head first and is learning learning learning.

While I love the experience I cannot begin to explain my frustration with everything.  I have felt as if the expectations and timeframe in which I've been expected to learn so much information is fairly unrealistic.  And the hardest part is that its ESSENTIAL that I learn quickly for the sake of the business but its simply NOT how I learn and not how I function.  I can't change that so its been a bigger battle than most realize.

I also had an opportunity to interview for a job that would put me back into the business I love - event planning... Errr... Wellll... Kind of.  There is a new banquet facility opening up in an up and coming neighborhood that is looking for an event sales coordinator.  It would consist primarily of meeting with potential clients, booking events, and coordinating the various events in the multiple banquet rooms of this very large facility.  While my true end goal is to be an independent event coordinator doing the more "cosmetic" coordinating, and less sales, this would be an excellent opportunity and put me back in the event industry.  It would also be exciting to be a part of the revitalization of the city that is working hard to rebuild its downtown to bring in upscale business. 

As for the personal life, well its been hit and miss this summer.  Last summer was function after function, reading on the deck, etc.  This summer I'm hardly home but don't feel as if I've had the fun to show for it.  We did have a hell of a good time at the Kid Rock concert a couple of weeks ago.  It was a party of epic proportions that you honestly had to be there to understand.  The day kicked off with partying in the VIP lot and peeing in someones RV that was full of 70s looking porn stars.  And it was only uphill from there.  Good GOOD times.

I don't feel like theres any real newsworthy items to post.  Just random bits of fun here and there.  Its got me looking forward to fall so I can slow down and get some reading done. 

I DID watch the Twilight movies finally.  I've fought being part of the ravenous mass that follows them but I have to say I did enjoy them.  I'm going to read the books next but I have solemnly promised myself you will not find me camping outside the theatre anytime soon.

SO thats the upate for now.  I'm just sitting home for a few waiting for the hubby to get home from picking up lunch and a much-awaited iced chai tea latte.  Hope all is well in blogland.  I DO follow you all still, usually on my lunch break or when the insomnia is kicking in at night.  Its just that at those times I'm too exhausted to throw my own musings out into the world.  So thank you all for not being slackers like me :)  Hope your summers have been amazing! 


Tuesday, July 6, 2010


Don't be mad... this post has nothing to do with Superbad - that was just in my head.  Anyways...

Awww shoot dang yall!  Sorry its been a long time since my last post.  I'm just gonna come out and say it - blogging in the summer time is hard. 

I've been cross-training at work which has left my brain feeling like a stinkin' scrambled egg.  I've had birthday parties, wedding planning, a super awesome Chicago trip, family stuff, etc..etc...

I know, I know, not a good enough excuse to neglect my blog but hey, a girl can only do so much.  I HAVE however, been keeping up on all of you whether you know it or not.  However, I do good to do just that so I usually have to jump from that into something else that demands my attention before I can even think of commenting. 

I know some of you have been getting your Twilight on, some of you have been making your healthy living your bitch and some of you have been bitch slapped by summer festivities like myself. 

Whats my point here?  Seriously....  I guess I'm just saying don't give up on me.  I still love this little land we call blogging and think of things to blog about a hundred times a day.  But I guess for one of the first times in my life I'm busy living rather than writing about living so for that I'm grateful.  I've also felt comfortable on the sidelines and after some situations that forced me into the spotlight of my own life I've been dabbling more in more in playing an active role in my life rather than thinking/writing.  But you can't take the writer out of the girl so keep your eyes peeled for my random and sporadic posts until life slows down long enough for me to step off the ride, write a little ditty and jump back on. 

Thanks to those of you who opened this and didn't just bypass it thinking ---- psshht... that bitch never writes.  Screw her.  I APPRECIATE you :) 

I hope you all had a wonderful 4th of July and that you didn't scorch yourself playing with fireworks.  Stay cool.  (Thats right, we go yearbook style around here once in awhile.)  Later :)

Tuesday, June 22, 2010


I have to pee and get ready for work so this has to be quick...

So long story short the hubby and I need to get in shape - in a bad sort of way.  A friend of ours had success with a program so we're giving it a go.

We started yesterday and I've got a lot to say (as always) about the matter.  So rather than turn this fun little party spot into a weight loss blog and bore my non-weightloss-blog type readers I made a new little home for my journey.  CHECK IT OUT.   Its bland and boring because I'm in a hurry this morning but its there.  I'll pretty it up later.

Ok guys - I've got a lot of catching up to do but I'm thisclose to peeing my pants and I've gotta get ready to go earn some cash so have a great day!  I'll catch up with you a little later!

Thursday, June 17, 2010


What?  You called?  Well your slacker has arrived...

Guys I SWEAR I've got a good excuse for being absent.  I've been Sick. As. A. Dog.  It went  a little something like this.  Last Friday wheezy, heavy feeling in bottom of throat/top of chest.  Saturday worked the wedding ALL DAY (whole other post) and felt like duke the entire time.  I was hot (like from the outside temps AND from fever), exhausted, stuffy and my back was killing by the end of the day.  Sunday I was practically dead to the world and completely miserable.  Monday I went to the doctor (sinus infection, possibly turning into upper respiratory infection), she gave me antibiotics, told me to rest, drink fluids, chew off my arm (just seeing if you're paying attention), blah, blah, blah.

Well I'm a complete sucker for punishment and forced myself to work ALL week.  Yep, sweating right down to my knee caps, blowing my nose until it was so red you'd swear I was snorting coke minus being a super model and much less rock star-ish, and just an overall hot mess.  I would wake up after tossing and turning all night and hang my head over the bed directly over the humidifier to try and break up the drainage (eww) and relieve the pressure in my face.

Today is the absolute first day I've been able to function.  I actually broke down crying yesterday because I was too big of an idiot to call in to work and no one told baby Miranda to go home.  Why couldn't someone just look out for me when I clearly can't look after myself?  DUH!  (Apparently I need to explain the rules to these people).

So I've missed a couple Garage Sale, Wedding, and Secret Sunday posts.  **Sigh**  **Sniffle** *Deep rattly breath**  I'm sorry!  But guess what?  I do have some goodies to flaunt in your face so that should totally make you happy that we're friends still!  My sister-in-law is a freebie lover and she recently started this site where she scours the internet, finds freebies and posts them for all to find.  Go check it out and see how you can score some of the awesome shiz I have here.  (P.S... I'm kind of a freak and am all about quantity so I like to let them pile up for a bit before I open them - it makes it feel like opening a bunch of presents... go ahead... roll your eyes...)  Here is what I opened today...

Formula, Potty training DVD, tattoos to put on your kiddies that are along the lines of "Hi My Name is __________" in case they get lost ---> brilliant!  Sidenote:  I do not have children yet but I'm game for anything free.  SCORE!

A whole ton of tampons, pads, pantylines, Aveeno shampoo/conditioner, John Frieda shampoo/conditioner, perfume, cologne, Eucerin lotion, Crest 3D whitening toothpaste.  I may not have children but I AM human so these samples are perfect for me - DOUBLE SCORE!

Purex 3-in-1 laundry sheets and of course the frickin Constitution of the United States!  I don't do laundry and I'm not gonna lie, I'd probably only read the Constitution if I was out of air freshener cans to read in the bathroom, but the hubby does laundry and is down with history - HUBBY SCORE!

 A Jiffy cookbook, Lanacane, Prilosec, Special K protein bar, True Lemon, Lime and Orange drink mix.  I'm not sure how I feel about food/vitamin/medicine samples - INDECISIVE SCORE!

Not too shabby huh?  So go do some freebie hunting - its totally fun.  Be forewarned - its also addicting!  Have a fab week! 

Monday, June 7, 2010


Okay... so maybe you've noticed I haven't exactly been Betty Blogger these days.  I've been busy, exhausted, trying to spend time in the "real" world, blah blah blah...  I'm also running low on creative fuel.  Actually the creative fuel is just being sapped by various aspects of my life outside of the virtual community. 

Like weddings for example... Wednesdays post shall be glorious as I will be posting pictures of the bouquets for this weekend's wedding.  Hint...  there are FEATHERS involved.  Go ahead... pee a little...

Anywhoozle - since I have to be awake in T-minus 7 hours and I'm pretty wore out here is a little glimpse of who the lady behind the text is (and I use the term 'lady' very loosely :)

1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?

I used to insist on it being closed - having it open freaked me out.  But now by the time I freefall into bed I don't care so much.

2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotels?

Ummm... do I have a pulse?  I have a drawer FULL!

3. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?

I love getting into a properly made bed BUT I usually find myself kicking furiously until my feet are uncovered.  So inevitably out.

4. Would you rather be attacked by a bear or a swarm of bees?

A bear.  I'd like to think it'd be faster.  The thought of bee stings and my throat closing up makes me feel like... my throats closing up.  (**abort thought**abort thought**)

5. Do you have freckles?

Not so much.  But I think they're frickin' adorable.

6. What is your biggest pet peeve?

I'm too affected by the every day goings on around me to pick one.  But right now I'll go with the drama at my workplace.  And yours truly (as previously mentioned) is the resident go-to person to lay everything out on the table.  Why oh why?  I really should be making bank in HR at a big company somewhere...

7. Have you ever peed in the woods?

Yes.  A couple times when I was little.  But since my rustic skills have decreased with age, the last time my husband and I camped in the woods he brought a fold out hunting blind, a homemade toilet seat and dug a hole so I could pee in luxury.  There was even a perfectly placed tree branch to hang our tp on.
SIDENOTE:  I cannot squat and pee without taking off EVERYTHING from the waist down.  I even had to do it in a crowded parking garage in downtown Detroit during a Tigers game.  Sorry to anyone who may have witnessed my indecent exposure.

8. Do you ever dance if there’s no music playing?

Pretty much all the time.

9. Do you chew your pens and pencils?

I'm not gonna lie... I catch myself from time to time.  Then I get completely and utterly grossed out.

10. Is it ok for guys to wear pink?


11. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?

BBQ sauce... and I have been known to throw a fit if I can't.

12. What is your favorite food?

Breadsticks.  I could live off of breadsticks.

13. What movies could you watch over and over and still love?

Clueless, Grease and the Hangover to name a few.

14. Were you ever a boy/girl scout?

Nope.  Hence my inability to survive in wilderness.  But I can knock down some Thin Mint cookies does that count?

15. Can you change the oil on a car?

Yeah its easy.  You go to the nearest drive-up oil change place, put on your best "I'm not a stupid girl" face and go with it.  Voila!  Oil changed in 10 minutes or less!  (But I CAN change my own headlight!)

16. Ever gotten a speeding ticket?

Yeah for going what I genuinely believed was the speed limit. 

17. Ever ran out of gas?

Just once.   Lock my keys in the car?  More times than I can count.

18. Are you lazy?

I used to be and I hated it.  I can't sit still now (yet I'm still fat) and I hate that too. 

19. When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?

I think I was a witch a hundred times over, and a clown, and Fred Flinstone and a hippie.

20. How many languages can you speak?

English and ebonics. 

21. Who is better…Leno or Letterman?

Letterman by far.

22. Do you sing in the car?

Yep.  And sometimes I sing AT other drivers.  My mom used to get embarrassed but my feeling was "Now they get to go wherever they're going and say 'you'll never guess what I saw on my way here."  You're welcome random drivers.

23. Ever eat a pierogi?


24. First concert?

Hmmm... It was an all-day thing with Eve 6, Uncle Kracker (before he was more awesome) and... other people that I can't remember.

25. Where would you be able to spend hours and be happy?

A 60 degree night with my pink snuggie, a campfire, no bugs, beer and a few good friends listening to Kid Rock.  (Its a Michigan thing - you may or may not understand)

26. What’s your favorite kind of doughnut?

Chocolate dipped from Tim Horton's.

27. Do you have any tattoos or piercings?

No tattoos yet.  The hubs and I want to get two puzzle pieces that would go together if you could rip off our skin and match them up.  But we can't decide what we want ON the puzzle piece if anything.
I do have my ears pierced and I've had my nose pierced twice - I miss it  :(

28. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?

My mamacita. 

29. Are you still friends with the people you knew in middle school or high school?

Some of them.  If you saw my Facebook you'd think so but I only talk to a handful of them regularly.

30. What is the last thing you ate?

A fortune cookie.  "You will attend an unusual party and meet an important person."

31. What did you want to be when you grew up?

A teacher.  A wife.  A mom.

32. Name three things that are close to you:

A pencil, a laundry basket full of clothes that need to be folded (my priorities are quite obvious) and the tv remote.

33. What was your best subject in school?

English.  I loved writing but it wasn't until college that I finally had a professor "get" me enough to make me feel comfortable to write freely.

34. What is your favorite restaurant?

G's Pizzeria - if you ever come to Michigan look them up and order their garlic spears.  I swear your life will be changed.  (Hire a personal trainer for when you get home).  They are the best breadsticks ON EARTH!  There are a few locations throughout the state.

35. Any hidden talents?

I wouldn't call it a talent but I'm finding a knack for floral arrangement.  I'm also freakishly intuitive.  Lastly, I have an unmatched ability to pretend I care when I want to punch you in the face and tell you to get over it.

36. What is your favorite girl’s name?

Miranda.  Naturally.  I kid, I kid.... it used to Isabella but thats wearing off.  I like girls names that could be boys names like Randi, Jo, etc. 

37. Would you rather be a rock star or a famous athlete?

Probably a rock star.  A clean rock star with a great wardrobe and a personal trainer.  Not a coke nosed, hotel-room-trasher psycho.  And I'd want to sit around and have jam sessions with Kid Rock and Hank Williams.  (Thats a marriage between my roots - all of my family is from Tenessee and we've migrated to Michigan) Oh and to shake hands with Eddie Vedder from Pearl Jam would also ignite my soul.

38. What are you wearing right now?

Black goucho pants, a purple shirt, my stupid bra that I hate (yes I still have on my work clothes at 12:30 am - I literally JUST sat down to relax), my wedding ring, a black bracelet that I was given as a gift from a coworker's trip to Vegas and my "Stop Child Abuse" bracelet.

39. Did you graduate from college?

Negative.  I got through about 2 years before I decided to quit wasting time and money until I could decide what I wanted to "be"

40. Do you have any nicknames?

Myer, Mirdiz, The Divine Miss M (TRUE), Dizzle and most recently Diz.  (I'm hoping one day I'll just be a symbol like Prince.  I think I like the excitement that an exclamation point could bring.) 

And there you have it.  I've been fighting the nausea that comes from pure exhaustion for the last 25 questions so its off to bed for this girl.  Night night!

Thursday, June 3, 2010


...Or is it "Quicky"? 

Oh my dearest readers...  I have failed you.  Please know that my lack of posts has not been caused by a lack of love for ya'll.  And I do extend my deepest apologies...

This has literally been a week from hell.  In short here's the stupid lowdown:

- with the holiday there's always catching up to do come Tuesday which typically turns into Wednesday, Thursday, you get the idea...

- Wednesday we come in to find that the accountant has up and quit.  She was making a lot of mistakes but was never quite trained right so that combined with her being too afraid to ask questions made for a pretty rough week last week

- So we're left high and dry... the boss is flying out of town on Thursday... and naturally we have to pick up some of the pieces which adds quite a bit to my plate

- On top of this the boss continues to do what I call "emptying her brain" and unloads a million more to-dos on me so SHE can enjoy her vacation (Sidenote:  I do not fault her for taking a vacation but the timing was horrendous)

- After working late last night the boss decides to have a breakdown and pushes me from trying to cope with the added stress to wanting to say "F this!"

... And thats just work...  Things have been hectic otherwise and I've been way too exhausted to formulate a decent post (hence this piece of junk you're reading right now - but I HAD to let you know I'm still alive and kicking).

So lots going on - hopefully next week we can get back to normal.  I DO have some flippin sweet garage sale items to post on Saturday so keep your eyes peeled (<--- someone please explain the meaning of that phrase).  Oh and I'm totally gonna win this giveaway.  So there.

And there you have it.  Your quickie blog post of the day.  Hope it was as good for you as it was for me! 

Wednesday, May 26, 2010


Well folks...  SIGH... its Wednesday after all.

I'm counting down to our camping trip so don't ya know this week is creeeeeping by.

Ah the wedding-ness.  This has been a fairly uneventful week thus far. I have a consultation with my 6/12/10 bride tomorrow morning bright and early.  We've got approximately two weeks until her wedding and with a holiday weekend this week I'm starting to stress.  To be honest, her schedule has not quite allowed for the planning I would like and I'm tempted to pull back.  Of course I will help in any way I can but I'm doing this one free of charge and I've hoped to avoid getting the point that we're.... well.... getting at.  Under normal circumstances I'm extremely flexible and can pull things together.  But with the extreme circumstances surrounding this one I NEED some bride participation!!!!!!!

THEN tomorrow at noon I'm going to the elected reception venue for my 6/18/11 bride so we can show the groom and mothers.  I'm very excited and know that once everyone sees the facility we will have the green light to move forward.  YAY!!!   I CAN'T wait to start showing you guys the deets.

Aside from that..... how about that American Idol (shoot dang I just came out of my Idol closet)...

Back to the wedding-ness.  I wish I had more to entertain this week but sorry yall - its been an insane week thus far and I had quite a to-do list today.  In closing, I'm curious, tell me about YOUR wedding day.  What was the most memorable moment (aside from the obvious I-Dos)?  Was there anything you'd have done different?  Would you do it all over again?  Night loves!

Sunday, May 23, 2010


I did not forget about GARAGE SALE SATURDAY yesterday... I just didn't Garage Sale is all.  I had a million bajillion things to do and couldn't even fathom the idea of taking 10 minutes to poke around a sale.

I spent my Saturday accompanying one of the bride's I am working with to a couple of reception venues.  I'm so happy to say that they decided on my favorite and its an absolutely BEAUTIFUL country club type setting with a stunning staircase that the bridal party will come down when they are announced.  The grounds are fantastic.  There's a rooftop tent where the ceremony/outdoor cocktail hour will take place and I absolutely CANNOT wait.  (ok ok I'll stop... this is turning into a WEDDING WEDNESDAY post).  More about that later...

Then I paused at home long enough to catch my breath and went down to help out my mom.  For those who do not know she has Transverse Myelitis.  It is a rare condition with a very sudden onset that causes paralysis due to nerve damage in the spine.  My dad went on a golfing trip this weekend leaving her alone and to fend for herself which isn't the world's most brilliant idea.  Granted, her condition has significantly improved since its onset in November of last year, but she is very unbalanced and still needs help getting certain things done.  So off I went to mop her floor, do the dishes and do some little errands.

Today I met a good friend at the Farmer's Market in a small town nearby and I was pretty disappointed.  No fruits/veggies yet - mostly flowers.  Sidenote:  Yours truly is NOT the most domestic and the thought of being on my knees for MANY reasons, but especially to plant anything, does not appeal. 

I then went on a little crusade to find a new pair of jeans since my last pair are pretty much useless.  I went to Old Navy and Fashion Bug first since they typically have my size and are more convenient.  Not today.  Nope.  After getting in and out of the 85 degree heat and being approached by a scary thuggish guy in the parking lot who I'm sure wanted to cause me bodily harm, still no frick frackin' jeans.

So I was going to make a trip over to the mall and quickly decided against it when I realized it would quickly turn into a 2 hour hunt and quite frankly, I had better shit to do.  So I'm down to a pair of white capris, black capris and black pants.  No jeans.  Sumbitch.

I then came home and spent 2 hours trying to get re-motivated since I had a huge to-do list for today and had yet to cross anything off of it.  At my request the hubby brought all the totes we take camping into the house so I could get everything washed and ready for next weekend.  That alone took forever.  I JUST picked up the house at 10 o'clock at night.  How does the weekend go by so fast? 

Just a few more things to try and knock out before sleepy time and the rest will have to wait until tomorrow after work.  Tuesday I'm working then taking mom to an appt.  Wednesday I'm going to try and focus on WEDDING stuff.  Thursday I'm working, going to book the reception venue with the bride and coming home to load up for our camping trip.  Then Friday its "Adios SeNorItAs!!!"  Off for a 3 1/2 day weekend.  I will try and post on Wednesday but thats going to be about it.  Next week's SECRET SUNDAY will have to be posted when I get back on Monday unless we venture away from the campground long enough for me to have a signal and connect with you lovelies for a minute.

So... now that you have a rundown of my week and can all sleep soundly... we will part after checking out today's Secret.  Enjoy!

Why did I pick this one?  Three reasons:

One, I've wanted to ask this of a few people in my life.  But haven't because I don't want to acknowledge it or am afraid to hear the truth. 

And two, I've felt like asking this of myself a few times in my life but haven't for the same reason.  

Three, and most recently, I've wanted to ask it of a high school fling who recently contacted me wanting to meet up for all the wrong reasons.  He is married with two children and one on the way.  I wonder how many women he's tried to do this with and the thought of his wife so innocent and carrying his children makes me physically ill. 

Thursday, May 20, 2010


So sue me.  I flaked out on my Wedding Wednesday post yesterday because I decided to meet a girlfriend for din-din and ended up in a gab-a-thon until 10 o'clock last night.  I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive...

So my life has been consumed by a great many things lately but getting the wedding planning business pulled together and ready for launch is one of the few that I can handle.  It has felt SO good to be involved with something I absolutely love again. 

Before we proceed I googled "disaster wedding" and this is what I found.  Enjoy.

Today I would like to share with you my recent experience with one of the bride's I'm working with.  If you have room for one more prayer tonight please I beg you, pray for this wedding.  Let's list, shall we?

1)  Said wedding is taking place June 12th of this year.  Thats 23 days.... count em.

2)  The invitations JUST went out last weekend.  For realsies.  (DISCLAIMER - It was a day after the invites were mailed out that I was pulled in on this wedding.  Rest assured that had I been at the helm all along this would've been one fine tuned little piece of wedded mastery).

3) The DJ DOUBLE BOOKED himself and basically bid them farewell without so much as a "I suckatlife."

4) Replacement DJ found.

5) The bride has invited over THREE HUNDRED people to this wedding.  When asked if she was constructing a seating chart she said "no."  I know these are a pain in the ass but no seating chart is every wedding coordinator's worst nightmare.  Believe it or not, people WANT to be told where to go.  It negates the whole awkward-ness of sitting too close to the "family" area, winding up with sucky tablemates, etc.

6) When asked why no seating chart she says, "Because there's so much family drama that I can't keep track of who hates each other week to week."  Holy.  Sweet.  Lord.  Almighty.

7) Who's preparing the food?  Family.  Non-professionally trained family.  Family that hates each other constructing a pasta bar.  Let the noodle slinging begin.

8) Last week she finds out that the aunt who was supposed to do the majority of the cooking has decided to go on vacation and will not be here to cook the food.  Man down.

9) Replacement caterer found.

10) The wedding is less than a month away and Mama Miranda is terrified.  It takes a lot to ruffle my feathers but the brides complacency over all of this makes me shake in my flip flops. 

So say a little prayer to the wedding Gods and I'll keep you posted.  Stay cool.  <--- Just felt like kickin it yearbook style :)  Night all!

Sunday, May 16, 2010


Well everyone, this is going to be a rather short post.  I'm in a shitty place in my head today and pretty much am not in the right mindset to whip up my usual banter.  Not to mention the fact that I'm exhausted.  After a busy Friday, a long day of hitting up garage sales yesterday followed by drinks/dinner with friends, the hubs and I spent the day at my parent's house doing some random things around the house for her. 

However...  At some point I hopped onto Postsecret and checked out today's posts.  I'll explain a little later in a much more thought out and dark post the reasoning behind it - but this is the one that spoke to me today.  In short, my life has felt like a big cloud is blocking out the sun these days and I'm struggling.  Like I said, one day when I can wrap into a neat little package I'll lay it out for you guys.  Until then...

**Sigh....**  On that note, I've got some preliminary wedding plans to work on before I attempt to catch some zzz's.  Night all!

Saturday, May 15, 2010


Hola beetchez!

Let me preface this post by telling you that today's garage sale experience was a rare one.  One where we met some totally kickass garage sale hosts AND the finds were spectacular-ish. 

So after a quick glance through the Garage Sale postings on Craigslist my eyes fall on these words:

"MAN'S GARAGE SALE" - To be clear - this equals my gateway drug for getting the hubby to accompany me on yet another treasure hunt.  This WAS quite possibly the garage sale from what my husband would consider heaven.  Two words:  Dirtbike stuff. 

So we mapquest the shiz out of this location and head to Destination Dirtbike <---clever huh.  I should totally get a job naming ops for the FBI.  Anyway, we get there and the guy having the sale is quite possibly one of the coolest guys we've ever met.  He buys and resells repossessed dirtbikes and also has a huge selection of brand new dirtbike supplies/apparel.  AND he's frickin funny as crap.  Needless to say hubmeister bought a tail light thing for his bike and some pipe thing for his friends bike.  Both were new with price tags so I can confidently say that we got $110 worth of stuff for $45.  (WAY more than I like to spend at a garage sale but it WAS a good deal AND guess who's getting some tonight?)

Ok enough about HIS finds.  On to me because, well, I'm cooler.

So we moved on to a garage sale held by two of the nicest gay guys I've ever met.  I got nervous that my husbands gaydar alert system would start dinging audibly but he actually talked to the guy about those wrought iron swirly candle holder things that go on the wall.  Disaster averted.  You could totally tell that these guys host some kick ass parties and probably have some flippin sweet friends.  They had SO much awesome barware that they have apparently received as gifts.  I even shared with them that I'd be writing about my finds on my blog and thanked them for helping me to pimp it out.  This is what I found:

Totally sweet long stem champage glasses.  THESE suckers are having a coming out party for sure! 

THEN because I'm awesome they gave me all of these nice glass candle holders for nada.  Who's the shiz now?!  Sidenote: The two silver ones in the front have little stars etched in the silver so the light shines through them - totally perfect for Christmas.

We checked out approximately 2.7 million garage sales between a couple different subdivisions.  We even witnessed some garage sale/subdivision road rage.  Quick reenactment:

Scene:  Cars lining narrow street
Scene:  Man driving down street
Scene:  Lady driving towards man cannot get through
Man:  Sheepishly looks at lady
Lady:  Waits until they're right next to each other to roll down her window and casually says "Asshole" as she proceeds about her business

Now I am not one to buy clothes from a garage sale.   I think of a lot of dirty reasons why that is not a good idea.  But I happend to come across a couple cute shirts and decided what the hell.  At least if I can't get beyond my preconceived thoughts of dirty-ness, I can just take them to the thrift store since I'm only paying like 75 cents apiece.  Do enjoy... oh and P.S. ----  Yes, I did the whole "folding under of the sides" to make them appear smaller.  Hey - I've got pride.

This says "Staring won't get you anywhere."  I had to reassure the hub that this did not pertain to him because hey, after putting up with treasure hunting for almost FIVE HOURS... he deserves some booby.

Then at some point I came across these little guys to add to my Halloween collection because I LOVE me some October 31st!

And then...  gotta add to the DVD collection since, ya know, I have time for that crap. 

And th-th-th-th-th-th-th-thats all folks!  Aside from the hub's dirtbike purchases, I got all of these shizzle bits (YUP you just witnessed the creation of a new phrase)... all of it for a solid $26.  Mission. Accomplished.

I hope you all are having a great weekend.  Its definitely nice to have some sunshine around these parts since its been nothing but rain, storms and wind this past week.  Get out and enjoy it!  Later lovers!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010


Okay ladies and ladies... I REMEMBERED my own creation!  Wedding Wednesday!!

So I spent an entire evening last week developing a master spreadsheet to keep each wedding organized.  I thought of EVERYTHING I swear.  But it felt great knowing that I've got a good handle on them and that with a tool like that I'd be able to keep my shiz together.

Side story:  The other night my 10-year old nephew calls and asks me if I wouldn't mind going online and checking out his website.  Ummm... come again?  What the?  So if you go to you'll see his clever little creation.  I'm so proud of him.  He was talking like such a little man about all the "business ideas" him and his friends have.

So this got my wheels a turnin.  I decided to check out the site where they were made their free website and figured I'd give it a go and make one for my wedding planning services. I've been wanting to get this off the ground for so long.  Because its free, the design options aren't the greatest but I figured I'd at least pour some ideas out and use it as a springboard for a future site that will really encompass what I want the business to look like.

Wellll... its basically a hot mess hunk of junk that I threw together in approximately an hour.  And I'm even a bit ashamed to share but ya know what?  You've been warned, I know its a mess and not pretty-fied yet... so go ahead and check it out.  I want to have your input on things it needs whether its design, content, etc. And if you know any web designers who want to help create a "real" website for me on the cheap please do tell.

Ok....(bites finger nails)... Here you go....  Check out Pink Productions baby!  (FYI this is the name I came uo with at random.  I'm totally up for suggestions here too!)

Night lovelies!

Sunday, May 9, 2010


Ok so I've got a few things to write about, none of them related... so I'll do my best to weave this post and you just hang tight ok? 

First and foremost HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to all the moms in the bloggerhood.  I could write a whole post about moms and what my mom means to me (and probably will)... but I'll just say thisfor now:  There is absolutely no love like that of a mom.  Even if she is not the most affectionate, even if you don't always agree with her, even if she was somewhat overprotective...  I don't know about you but she is one of the only constants in my world and that means more than anything. 

That being said, my goal in giving gifts is typically to do one of two things:

1) Make the recipient cry
2) Make the recipient laugh so hard they pee a little
 (There is a bonus #3 and that is to make them do both and takes a Midas touch)

So I gave mom this filled with the photos below from my wedding day.  She cried.  SUCCESS!  Marvel... go ahead... marvel...

Mom hugging Dennis...

Mom straightening my dress...

Mom and I...

So that was that. 

Next I need to apologize for flaking out on my newborn blog topic "Garage Sale Saturdays."  Its been three weeks since I went into hard labor and birthed this idea... And three weeks since I've posted any gems.  Truth be told, last Saturday I skipped town with a friend for the night and I didn't even garage sale while I was skipping... Not cool at all.

This Saturday we had to go to a wedding and in true Miranda style we walked in JUST before the ceremony began so there was definitely no time to go treasure hunting.  I swear I'll post some finds next weekend :)

And while we're on failures...   a very long time ago I posted about my love and adoration for PostSecret.  My goal was to introduce Secret Sundays where I would share my favorite post from the day.  Well....  I'll give you one guess.  YEP I effed it up too.  So without further adieu I dig way way back into the promise box and grace you with.......................  SECRET SUNDAY (AGAIN BUT STILL REALLY COOL!) !!!!

Todays favorite secret is...

Boy oh boy.. .  I've had these exact same worries.  When my husband and I moved I was TERRIFIED that someone was going to attempt to carry in and drop the black and white Peter Beaton box full of everything you can imagine.  This box has made me so nervous in the past that you'd swear it also held a play by play of each and every experience that went along with the items inside.  Yikes...

It also reminds me of my mom saying to always shave your legs because "What if you got in a car accident and they had to remove your pants?"  Well mom, then they'd see some hairy effing legs and they'd definitely be dissuaded from doing bad things to me while I was unconscious and concussed.  So there you have it oh smart matronly woman... I have in fact surpassed your level of smarts and trickery.  Take THAT!

Alright, enough rambling for the night.  I hope everyone had a great weekend.  I can't wait to make my rounds tomorrow and see what you've all been up to.  Night!

Thursday, May 6, 2010


Ok... so here's the honest truth (and yes thats me and Dennis on August 12th, 2007):

I am a self-proclaimed Wedding Whore.

Of course like every girl I've dreamed of my wedding since approximately 37 seconds before I was catapulted out of the womb and into the hands of all who had the honor of witnessing my arrival into this world.

Then I came thisclose to making the mistake of marrying my highschool boyfriend.  As I've said before, I was WAY more excited about the wedding planning than I ever could've been about the prospect of being married to my then fiance. 

We visited a wedding planner (because I thought I was a rockstar and deserved the celebrity treatment...silly, silly TV) and I was hooked.  First of all, the planner's name was Melanie and I adored her from our first consultation.  She ended up being like a big sister I never had and who I totally looked up to. (I was blessed with two brothers complete with being farted on and being told I was adopted...)

We were at approximately our third consultation when we got talking and she asked if I knew anyone looking for a part-time job who might be able to help her out.  Ummm.....  HELLO.  My name is MIRANDA.  I want to be your BIZNATCH.  And so it began....

I loved every minute of it.  After the wedding was called off and I skipped town I completely lost touch with her.  I've psych-stalker Googled her many times to no avail.  But I didn't lose touch with the feeling I had when planning a wedding.  Some brides become totally overwhelmed by the planning and avoidable chaos that surrounds a wedding but I absolutely love it. 

I've since worked as an event coordinator at an absolutely stunning venue and loved it still.  I never tired of fluffing the brides dress and being with her in that moment of nerves right before she walked down the aisle.  I never tired of the look on the grooms face when he sees his bride for the first time or when you see the bridesmaids sneaking each other tissues during the ceremony. 

And I've even planned my own wedding in two insane weeks under some very extreme circumstances.  (Thats a WHOLE other story... to check it out click HERE).

Last year I had a sudden change of career and have missed the wedding planning business beyond belief.  But guess what?!  In one way or another I'm currently a part of FIVE weddings.  If I had a Happy Dance you bet your sweet ass I'd be up off my seat right now. 

Wedding #1 - A girl I know from work is getting married this June 12th.  Due to some wedding drama she came to me last week asking for my (ahem!) professional help - ha!  So I'm stepping in to help her get her shit together in this last month and will likely be there the day of to make sure she finally gets to enjoy the fact that she's getting married. 

Wedding #2 - My brother-in-law is getting married this September. The hubby and I are both standing in the wedding and I am beyond ecstatic at the thought of walking down the aisle with him again.  We never had the big reception so this should be epic all around.   Plus my dress is stunning (if only I were worthy :)

Wedding #3 - Our friends from Montana are getting married in Vegas next May.  The groom is a friend of mine from college and his fiance is an absolute doll.  She has totally let me be her wedding guru and I frickin love it. 

Wedding #4 - My boss' son is getting married next June.  After 7 years and 2 kids they've finally decided to set a date and his wife-to-be has asked for my help.  There is nothing better than someone trusting you with something you love.  We've already been discussing preliminary plans and I think its going to be an amazing wedding.

Wedding #5 - My former coworker and friend is getting married next July.  They are getting married at the venue I used to work at and the very same place my husband and I were married.  (Downfall - seeing my old boss who I did not give a two weeks notice to but rather left a note on her desk with my key.  Solid.)  But they've got phenomenal taste so it will inevitably be a beautiful affair and being a bridesmaid I'll get to be on the frontline of all of the planning and festivities.  Flippin sweet.

So there you have it.  The next year is going to be wedding overload and I couldn't be happier with that.  My hope is to take some photos from all of them and be able to build a damn good portfolio so this girl can kiss "normal" work goodbye and have my own event planning business.  So in honor of all the wedding jizz  jazz, I'm loosely dubbing Wednesday posts "Wedding Wednesdays."  (<--- ok kinda lame - any thoughts for a way cooler name?)  I'll share some of the plans as they're coming together, photos of plans, etc.  I might even ask for your advice so strap on your creative cap and lets DO THIS!

Peace out beeeeetches...

Saturday, April 24, 2010


Okay... so... Garage Sale numero uno of the season?  Not so much.

Issue #1)  I had mapped out six different sales that I wanted to check out.  Apparently I'm a bigger idiot than I even knew and didn't pay attention to the (ahem!) dates... of... the... sales??  So two of them are actually next weekend.  And one of them only went until noon and we showed up at 12:36.  Aye yay yay.

Issue #2)  One of the actual existing garage sales turned out to be one that we hit up last summer.  This guy has no less than 1 million rusty tools.  AND he is one of those people that keeps talking to you long after you've walked away.  Totally awkward.  Within 30 seconds I whispered to the hubby that we needed to get out of there stat before I ripped my skin off.  Overcast skies threatening to rain on my garage sale parade do not equal a very patient Miranda.

** SIDE NOTE - YES my hubby is awesome enough to accompany on my attempts at being a thrifty goddess.  He doesn't even let me see him roll his eyes when I bust out a frickin map like Dora the Explorer and he generally lets me pick up whatever crap I decide is a necessity and doesn't get mad when, in turn, I talk him out of the shiz he thinks he can't live without.  So... kudos to my husband for being a pretty awesome specimen.

Issue #3 - We came thisclose to being the proud owners of a popup camper.  We are avid campers and tented it all last summer.  I'm down with the whole rustic camping bit but I'm not gonna complain if you offer to give me an enclosed space with a bed that won't collapse when the wind blows.  However, the lady had someone already interested who was supposed to come back later to show it to his wife.  Well wife must've liked because they bought it - stupid popup loving bitch.

So to supplement my need for thrift we went to a consignment/antique shop in town where I found yet another rustic barn star for the house which I have yet to find a place for.  SUCCESS!

Then we went to Hallmark where I actually remembered to use my "Buy one card, get one 1/2 off" coupon AND my $3 off coupon.  DOUBLE SUCCESS!

After that we went to a video store in town thats going out of business where I picked up seven DVDs for about $30.  SUCCESS TIMES THREE!

So here are a couple of today's finds for you to feast your eyes on.  Enjoy!

Rustic star - I'm addicted to this little gems but am quickly running out of places that won't make it look like I need a rustic star intervention ...

These are the 7 DVD's that will keep me on the couch all day tomorrow while it rains. 
1. Someone Like You 
2. Whip It 
3. Juno 
4. Bounce
5. Elizabethtown
6. Beautiful
7. Four Christmases 

BONUS!!  SURPRISE!!  My sister-in-law who is the Thrift QUEEN found this precious little beast for me at the local consignment shop.  I have searched and searched for a Teddy Ruxpin forever.  He even came with a tape all ready to read me a story!  Except... Teddy must've experienced some trauma since 1985 because he refuses to speak :(  Oh and my dogs barked at him for the first 30 minutes he was in our house.  And sometimes I have to push his eyes shut because they freak me out.  But seriously, isn't he precious?!

Friday, April 23, 2010


Time for what??  I'll tell you my friend... Time for GARAGE-slash-YARD SALES!!!

Let me first begin by telling you that I did not quite "get" the awesomeness of garage sales until I quit my previous job.  I was working in event planning which meant for almost five years straight I worked EVERY weekend.  I quit this job in May which apparently is like peak garage sale season around this joint.

So that very first Saturday that I was free from hell, my girlfriend and I grabbed a coffee at Bigby (NEVER AGAIN - way way way overrated.  I'll stick to Starbucks fo sho).  We then proceeded to hit up the garage sales.  And she took me to, like, garage sale HEAVEN.  A little thing most affectionately call "The Neighborhood Garage Sale."  DE-LIGHT-FUL.  I seriously couldn't belive this fun little thrifty world existed and I had no idea.

So I'm jumping the gun a bit this year but the weather's been decent so I think I'm ready to start dabbling in the garage sales.  I've decided to break into them real slow through the month of April.  Then at the end of May I'm planning a garage sale season kickoff event like no other.  The plan is that the weekend after Memorial Day I will actually hit the road bright and early with a frickin map in hand because I will tear the streets up looking for crap I don't need.

Last year my compulsive list-making even got the better of me.  I actually started a spreadsheet to list the things I bought, compared to what they'd cost at the store just to further solidify the fact that garage sales make me feel like a thrifty rockstar.

That being said, I want to show off some of my best finds.  And if you're not a garage sale lover I swear on a stack of .50 cent books in a musty smelling box that you will be when I'm done flashing my used goods in your face.  Brace yourselves for..... GARAGE SALE SATURDAYS!!!!!!!!

And if you've never heard of - ummm... go there right this very instant and bask in its awesomenes.  Wanna know the bonus of garage saling?  Walking my ass off thats what.  So what are your Saturday plans?  Any good garage sale stories?  Any die-hard garage saling tips?  Have a great weekend everyone!

And P.S. thanks to everyone who basically said "We'll pimp you when you stop being a sucky blog friend and start showing our blogs equal love."  I get it.  And I swear I'll work on my blog skills. 

Monday, April 19, 2010


OK...  I'm going to write about something thats been on my mind.  And well... lets not beat around the bush.  Lets go right to my list fetish and knock this post out because I'm tired and want to go to sleepy time.

1)  I truly love and appreciate all twelve of my wonderful followers.  You all inspire me with your posts and keep me on my toes with your comments and I'm grateful for each and every one of you.

2)  I went from 0 to 12 in a relatively short amount of time and was pretty psyched because, in blog land, the days you get comments are like Easter.  And the days you get followers are like straight up CHRISTMAS!

3)  I've got chocolate bunnies and pastel eggs up the ying yang but no Christmas presents in a very very long time.

4)  I'm not beyond looking at myself first.  Could it be?  Am I flawed?  Am I (whisper) boring?  What, oh what's a girl to do?

5)  So I ask two questions of you lovelies:
     i.  What the deuce do you chickadizzles want to read about?
    ii.  If I strap on some leather and hooker boots will you pimp me on your pages?  Will you INSIST that if
        your readers love you they will love your friend Miranda just the same?  I swear you can trust me with
        them.  I'll treat them very very nice.

6)    If you'll be so kind as pimp out this blog-ho I'll even get all proper and buy you a drink (aka a giftcard to somewhere you fancy a sip!)

Well... I've done my shameful dirty deed of the night and these hooker heels are killing my feet so I'm gonna go disinfect myself and sulk my way into sleepland.  Good night!

Sunday, April 18, 2010


I know I haven't posted in a few days... and there are many things I could write about... but my fingers and my heart will only let me write about one thing.  Dominick Calhoun.  The innocent 4-year old child who's life was taken much too soon. 

I did not know Dominick or his family personally.  But when a story like this comes to life in your own backyard you can't help but ache each and every day for the precious little angel and his family.  As such, I'll let you readers read the story for yourself as I do not know all of the facts myself.  A forewarning to parents who may read this blog that this is a disturbing story but little Dominick deserves to have his story told.

Click HERE to read the news story.

Once you read the article please seek out the Facebook pages "Justice for Dominick" and "Dominick's Law."  The first is simply a page to show support for the family of Dominick.  The latter is an attempt at bringing this to the front step of the Michigan/Federal legal systems and amending the laws accordingly. 

As you read, the "mother" of this little boy was held and quickly released from jail.  As stated by many on the Facebook pages, if that woman is still alive then she didn't do enough to save her child.  It is the hope of many in our community and across the country that she is charged at the bare minimum as an accessory to the murder of her son. 

I ask that all of you please post about Dominick on your blogs, suggest these pages to your friends on Facebook, Twitter, etc.  And in honor of Dominick and in support of the cause we are fighting please show this ribbon on your pages.  Thanks!

Monday, April 12, 2010


Howdy ya'll!!!  Well we successfully made it back from our trip down south.  We did NOT get swallowed by the potholes going through Kentucky.  If you haven't driven through Kentucky I strongly suggest you add it to your list of things to do in life (just hold on tight and look out for potholes).  But it is seriously Beau-ti-ful.  There comes a point south of Cincinnati, just crossing into Kentucky where the road winds through the hills and you feel instantly relaxed.

Our trip was pretty nice.  The weather was mostly beautiful (80 degrees and sunny).  We did some fun things such as fishing at the pond behind my relative's house, visited Reelfoot Lake with all the cypress trees growing in the water, went to the flea market where my Papa wheels and deals on the weekends, had lunch at Sonic (sweet Jesus if you've never had a lemon-berry slush and a chili-cheese pie then you HAVE NOT lived).  We also sipped on the sweet awesomeness that is peach flavored Nehi (its a peach flavored pop).  We roamed the streets of the neighborhood I lived in for 10 months when I was little, visited with family, took a barge down the Mississipi and drove into Missouri to a fun joint called Lamberts "Home of the Throwed Rolls" - a restaurant with amazing southern cooking where they throw hot rolls to you from across the room.  We visited with oodles and ooodles of family and finished off the trip with a down home fish fry with even more family. 

The downfalls of the trip consisted of me getting sick mid-week with a sore throat and major sinus drainage mmmmm....  We forgot the air mattress and therefore slept on the rock hard floor at my aunt's house which was okay except for the fact that:
Day 1 - I couldn't sleep because of a migraine
Day 2 - I couldn't sleep because my ARMS ached really really bad.  I know that sounds crazy and it IS.  But they did and I'm pretty sure this exact thing happend when we went camping last time.  I think I must fall asleep on them and the poor things get squished between my body and the hard ground.
Day 3 - I started having the horrible sore throat and drainage issue
Day 4 - It got fricken chilly and we pretty much had all of the blankets in the house beneath us for "cushion" and I was too tired and out of it to actually get up and pull one out from underneath us so I shivered, rolled over, slept, shivered, rolled over, shivered.... all night... long

The other downfalls of the trip pertained to family.  First, and foremost, there's just too many of them.  I end up feeling like I'm not spending enough time with one or the other and come home guilty.  I find myself wanting to spend every minute with them but at the same time want it to be a VACATION and get some quality alone time with the hubby.  I know there are sensible ways to resolve this but everyone's on different schedules and I try not to appear controlling a freakish so I try and go with the flow and end up feeling, like I said, Guilty (with that capital 'G').

And the last downfall is going to sound a little selfish but hear me out.  There is a lot of dysfunction down there amongst my family.  I won't get into all the little details but its heart wrenching to say the least and usually ends up feeling more like a mission trip than a vacation.  Make no mistake, I love and adore my family, ALL of them.  But its hard to see some of the sad things I see when I go and being a natural born "fixer" its difficult to detach and enjoy yourself when you want so bad to fix their world in the week that you're there.  So taking the first "vacation" in five years, the first week-long vacation with my hubby ever... it was a bit disheartening coming home and not feeling recharged whatsoever.  But I wouldn't give it up for anything.  All in all it was a good trip and lets face it, some of my elderly relatives aren't going to be around forever so it was great to spend time with them.  Oh and we picked up a little southern twang after the first 24 hours.  We also added the phrase 'bango jango' after everything we said to reinforce the southern-ness of it all and cracked up at ourselves. 

So there you have it ya'll - our trip in a little ol' nutshell.. Bango Jango!  Now please... if yer so inclined... do take a little ol' minute and fix yer eyes on these here photos... Bango Jango!

Check out that southern scene - fields and sky...

This little gem sat outside the hotel in town... only in Tennessee

The decor inside Lambert's Cafe in Sikeston, MO.... Check this place out if you ever get the chance.  I swear this place is awesome - food, environment, the little old lady playing "Git away" music on the piano... everything...

The hubby with a candy cigarette in his mouth - trying to fit in with the locals.  Good heavens...